Heartbreak Vacation

Coffee with friends

Dana was staring at the coffee cup in her hand. She sat on her bed. The suitcase stood still unpacked where she had left it – right next to the door. She had hoped to catch Julie before she would go over to class or to the library. But the room was vacant, so she had sat on her bed. She tried to understand why she felt so uncomfortable all at once.

To be with John was so easy. She felt comfortable in his presence, didn't need to find excuses for being who she was and what she did. Of course she wanted him to like her, to get a compliment on a dress or about the way she looked. But she liked it even more when he laughed about her jokes, walked the beach or in the park without feeling the need to talk. Dana didn't want to compete. She knew why John was with her and that he enjoyed the ease of their relationship. Would that hold once they were officially a couple? Or would she need to answer questions about why John had chosen her over his beautiful, screen-perfect wife? Would she be able to sit in any restaurant without her calories being counted? And how would it affect her studies? She would hardly be able to set foot into a classroom without being stared at. Did she love John enough to face all that?

I need to talk to Julie, she thought.

Julie was sitting in the library studying Modern English Literature. When Dana flopped down beside her, she looked up.

"Seen the paper?", Dana asked quietly.

"Which one?"

"People of today"

"No. Is there something interesting in it?" Julie sat back in her chair.

"Yeah. John and me."

Julie starred at her. "You are kidding!"

"Oi!", said a black-haired guy from further down the long table, demanding silence.

Julie packed book, notepad and bottled water in her backpack and off they went.

Outside the library they sat on bench. "Tell me!" Julie urged.

"Not much to tell", Dana said and told her about the grainy picture, John's decision to divorce Claudia and his announcement to get this straightened out.

Julie looked at Dana. "So, what does that mean?", she finally said.

Dana hesitated. Her glance went to the familiar buildings on the campus, to students passing and chatting. She saw her Media professor coming out of the door, nodding at her in recognition. She nodded back and smiled by way of saying Hello. A fellow student, Sam, rode by on his bike and waved.

"I am not sure I want that", Dana finally said.

Julie waited for her to continue. "I don't want spotlight and being under scrutiny. I want to be me and not some actor's girlfriend." Dana felt her eyes tearing up. "I just want..." She looked at Julie. "I just want an ordinary life."

She knew Julie did not understand. Julie always tried to be in the spotlight. She was member of a group of actors who performed each season for a few days at the Arts Festival. Her hair was bright red, her skirts short and she was always surrounded by people how were way beyond Dana's league. Dana had always wondered whether they would have been friends if they had not coincidentally been placed in one room.

"But you like John?", was all she asked now.

"I like John", Dana agreed. "But I like the John I met in California." How could she make Julie understand that she liked the man but not his job? "Now that he is becoming famous there are so many strings attached. We are not able to just be ourselves. We will be watched. I will be compared. Private moments will be a thing of the past." She shook her head in despair. "I am not sure our love is strong enough. In the end, I am just some girl he met on the beach and he is a good-looking aspiring actor, who divorced his wife to enjoy an early mid-life crisis."