Heartbreak Vacation

Unexpected Visitor

I... I 'm sorry", Dana stuttered. "There was no sign", she repeated herself. Hurrily she turned her horse aroundand head back towards the farm. "Next time, better check where you are going!", the rider called after her.

Dana kept her head low and made her decent down the slope. But she couldn't refrain from looking over her shoulder. John was watching her ride away. He did not show any sign of having recognized her.

******

Two days later, Dana was sitting on the steps of the farmhouse, working on some paper; Sam was out checking on a herd that was running free in the rolling hills that surrounded the farm and which his dad owned. Since the incident near the film set, she did not feel like riding, so she concentrated on doing her chores. Carol and Michael were selling crop and foods at their farm, so the car that appeared on the dusty road was did not came as a surprise to Dana. Since she was here, she had often seen Carol sell eggs, cheese, grain, corn or smoked ham. The ham in particular was delicious and chefs from local restaurants were fond of using it in their dishes. The car stopped, a guy got out as Carol appeared in the barn door, where she had seen to the goats. Dana did not pay attention until she saw the sign on the car. "Wild West Film Production" it read – the company that produced Attempts to Tame the West. Was that a coincident?, she thought as she watched Carol and the guy enter the barn after a quick chat. She hoped so. Suddenly, the other car door opened. Dana almost dropped her book when she saw John getting out. He started approaching her.

"Hi", he said as he strolled over.

Dana had a hard time getting a word out. "Hi." She finally managed.

"So it was you", he continued. Dana nodded her head in agreement, looking down at her notepad. "I had to make sure it was not a daydream...", John said, his voice sounded sad. She looked up. Their eyes met.

Gee, Dana thought. He is looking better that ever. His hair had grown some, some grew streaks were showing; his face was tanned, emphasizing his grey eyes. How long had it been since she saw him last?, she wondered. It seemed way longer than a few months. The pain was almost unbearable. She looked away, did not know what to say.

"Is this where your boyfriend lives", John asked.

"Yes", Dana answered, looking over to the barn. After a pause, John asked: "Are you happy, Dana?" She took a moment to consider the question. Was she? If she admitted the pain she was feeling right now, she had to deny. But thinking about the last few months, about how Carol and Michael had welcomed her, she agreed.

"Yes, I am", she said, looking at him. He nodded, a sad smile appeared on his mouth. "Good!"

Carol and the man came out of the barn, chatting and laughing. "Goodbye, sweetheart", John said, walked back to the car, opened the door and vanished behind tinted windows. Dana was in shock and was not able stand this situation any longer. She threw her book close, took books and pencils and almost ran inside. She went up the stairs, into the room she was sharing with Sam, threw herself on the bed and let out a wail. She felt like someone was squeezing her heart in the attempt to pull it out of her chest. She started to sob, head buried in pillows. She only hoped Carol would not hear her. After a while she fell asleep, exhausted from crying.

******

Sam woke her up when he came home. "You are sleeping?" he wondered. Dana rubbed her eyes, trying to smile at him. "Yeah, sorry...." Sam smiled lovingly. "It's OK. I wish I could have been in bed with you – is all." He bent to kiss her. But Dana pretended to stretch and ducked away from it.

"Is it dinner time already?" she asked getting up.

"Yeah. Mom is fixing dinner already."

"Gee! Why did she not wake me!" Dana exclaimed and had her excuse to rush past Sam and down the stairs.

In the kitchen, Carol was peeling potatoes. Dana joined her. In silence they finished the potatoes, washed the salad, seasoned the meat in the oven.

"Are you OK?" Carol finally asked.

"Yeah. Why?" Dana requested, keeping her eyes on the roast she was drizzling some gravy over.

"I though I heard you cry."

Dana did not reply.

"Did you know the actor – I guess that's what he was... The guy who was talking to you earlier today?"

Dana did not know what to say. She did not want to lie to Carol. She was a very sweet, caring woman who treated her like a future daughter-in-law. How could she explain that John was the man she had once loved and then walked away from. What would Carol think of her when she told her that he had been married when they had seen each other."

I think his name is Hermes Jones", Dana said instead. "He is playing Garrett Fox, in Attempts to Tame the West. My friend Julie loves that show, that's how I know... He just wanted to chat..." She let her voice trail off. Through the window she saw Michael walking towards the house. "Ah", she said. "Michael is coming. I'll set the table."

******

Three days later, Sam drove Dana to her parents'. It was just about a four hour drive, so it was manageable. Plus, Dana's parents were delighted to finally meet their daughter's boyfriend as well. Naturally, they liked him loads.

Sam spend the night and drove back home the next day. Dana stayed for a week. During her time at her childhood home, Dana tortured herself by watching Seasons 1 and 2 of Attempts to Tame the West. She also surfed the web to collect information about John. She learned that his separation from Claudia had been a tearful one for her, that John had been seen with various young women – models, actresses, and starlets – in various stages of drunkenness. One article even raised the question if John was not able to cope with the increasing success. The accompanying picture showed John and a pal hardly able to walk and cross-eyed as they were leaving a famous club L.A. Seeing John like this made her heart-sick. Still, she could not convince herself that this should be her fault. To leave him had been the right decision, she told herself. He would have broken her heart; the newly acquired stardom had brought out this strange, party-seeking John. She had known that this would happen, she told herself as she read through the various articles.

******

In the evenings, she spent time with her parents. Just like when she was little, they would sit down for dinner her mother had prepared. When she was at home, Dana helped her and enjoyed standing in the tiny, old-fashioned kitchen, breathing in the same scents she had been around most of her life. She smelled spices that reminded her of Christmas cookies; herbs that made her tough taste the vague idea of Sunday pot-roast; detergent that spoke of her mother's cleanliness. All in all, the smell of home.

Dana also took time to meet her former best friend Maria. She was the only friend she still was in touch with; actually, Maria had been her closest and one of the few friends she had had in High School. Maria had stayed in town, worked as a nurse and was due to get married next spring.

"William and I were thinking", she now said, sipping her Gin Tonic while sitting at the bar they had spend the evening at. "We should spend a week at Teton Pass. We would kill two birds with one stone: Get to ski, spend time with you and we would get to meet Sam."

"That's three birds", Dana laughed. But she had to admit it was a great idea. She had not been skiing in a while. She was not even sure Sam knew how to, but she would find out. Over more Gin Tonic, live-music and some flirting with former schoolmates who frequented the pub as well, they made plans to go skiing the coming winter. Dana did not know how to finance the trip, but she would find a way. She had missed Maria. She was grounded, serious, and prudent – all the things Julie was not. Dana loved them both for who they were. But with Maria she felt a deeper connection. A bond that only exists when kids are growing up together and shared the sky-high feelings and deeply felt sorrows of adolescence. By the end of the evening, Dana was really looking forward to the trip. In fact, she could hardly wait.

******

Working, studying, spending time with friends, squeezing in alone-time with Sam, and the occasional job with the newspaper that would finance her the ski trip, got her mind off John the following months. She never told Julie about her meeting with Garrett Fox, she made herself not to look for news in the Yellow Press and spend time with Sam on the days Julie watched Attempts to Tame the West in their dorm room. She was able to see the path she was destined to take. Graduation, job, marriage and two kids. She sailed through the months on a steady breeze of certainty.