twenty nine

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Honey

"I thought I told you to stay away from him," Ben snapped as I buckled in my seatbelt.

"I am. He came up to me. You're also not the boss of me, though."

"Do you even realize how much he disrespected you?" his eyebrows furrowed like he was genuinely confused with my attitude. "You were literally nothing to him but something to fuck."

"Okay," I replied. I knew that wasn't true, that wasn't just the end of the story, but fighting with Ben meant fighting the whole way home. I couldn't deal with that. I was barely mentally stable enough to talk to my teachers without crying, much less my brother who knew everything. He knew how embarrassed I was. "Did you see Ester at all today?"

"Yeah. She sat with the volleyball girls at lunch."

Ester had skipped the class we had together. I hadn't seen her at all since Thursday, not that I had been looking. I sent her a long, sincere apology through text, since she wouldn't answer the phone, but I didn't get a response. If she wanted to avoid me, I wasn't going to force myself on her. That would only do more damage.

"Did she look alright?" I asked.

"Sad," Ben shrugged. "She looked sad."

David

"You are such a selfish bitch, you know," I said to Ester as she sat happily munching on her potato chips like she wasn't ruining my life. "Can you get over yourself for five seconds?"

"Can you?" she frowned in response. "Everything is about you, David! Everything! All I wanted was one thing to myself, one person who was just mine, and you couldn't keep your fucking hands off of her! She was supposed to like me for me, not because she could get to you!"

"She did like you for you," I rolled my eyes at her dramatics. "People can like both of us, Ester. It doesn't have to be an either or thing. All she ever did was talk about how we needed to tell you because she didn't want to hurt your feelings. She's the sweetest girl ever, and you're just going to ignore her and make her feel like shit for something so stupid. That's just not fair."

"What isn't fair is her telling me about how much she related to hating that her brother was always better than her, and then choosing my brother over me. That isn't fair. She doesn't deserve to be my friend anymore."

"You literally act like an eight year old," I took the bag of chips for her as my own childish move, then ran upstairs and locked my bedroom door before she could stop me.

"I'm the eight year old?" she yelled from outside while she banged on my door, but I turned my music up loud to drown her out. "Fuck you!"

Honey

"Honey! Wanna watch a movie with us?" Liza asked from the couch the next Saturday. She had been here constantly since the incident, which was very sweet but very overwhelming. I had always been an introvert anyway, so being alone wasn't that bad for me. "It's gonna be scary."

"I'm good. Just gotta do some homework."

"On a Saturday?" she frowned, and I nodded. Ben stayed silent.

The only thing that had gone right for me in the past week was that David stopped looking for me in the library, meaning I didn't have to eat lunch in the bathroom. You don't know what disgust feels like until you're munching on goldfish and suddenly, the person in the stall next to you is throwing up.

"Well, if you wanted to come down after you're done, we'll catch you up," Liza smiled encouragingly to me. I nodded, grabbing the container of grapes from the fridge and bringing them upstairs with me. I was nearly two weeks ahead in all my classes since the only thing I did now and days was work. I gave up on doing work after about five minutes, painted my toenails light blue, and started rearranging my room.

I had moved everything but my bed when I decided I hated what I had done and started crying. I sat on the floor crying for ten minutes before Dad knocked on my door. I tried to hide it, but I could tell it was all over my face.

"What's wrong, Honey bear?"

Honey Bear just reminded me of Honey Badger, making my heart ache more. Dad sat down in front of me on the floor and glanced around my room, "I see you've taken it upon yourself to rearrange."

"Don't make fun of me. I know it looks bad," I whined, wiping the snot from my nose on my pajama pants because I am a disgusting person.

"Are you crying because you aren't going to be an interior designer one day?" he gave me a gentle smile that I didn't return. Usually that stupid joke would've made me laugh, but today. Everything was just a little too much today. "You don't even want to be an interior designer. Don't cry."

"Can you help me move it back?" I sniffled.

"If you tell me what's actually wrong," he bargained. I couldn't. There was no way I could tell my dad that the boy who was at our house every weekend was sneaking in my room to do inappropriate things with his little girl. It made me look terrible, and even if I probably deserved to be in trouble for that, I could5 admit it. Ben was protecting me for a reason; if our parents knew, everything would be blown out of proportion.

"Me and Ester just got in a fight," I told him the vaguest story I could think of. "I don't think we're going to be friends anymore."

"You shouldn't think like that, Honey bear. You're a gem. Everyone who knows you is lucky that they do," he reassured me, rubbing me on the shoulder. "Whatever she's mad about, she will get over it. She'd be stupid to give up on a friendship with someone like you. She'll never find another person like you, I can promise you that."

"You really think so?" I had to say, his words did give me some hope. I had always looked up to my dad as someone who was wise, someone who could give me advice that would actually work. If he believed it, I could too.

"Of course I do. And I'm not just saying it because I'm your dad."

"Of course you're not," I smiled, playfully rolling my eyes at his words. "Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Keep your chin up, Honey. Everything will work out in the end."

I just hoped he saw something I didn't. I hoped he was right.


Oh to be a girl with a strong loving father figure in her life........ i fuckin wish lmao

Vote and comment to cure my daddy issues <33333

Xoxoxo abby

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