7734: Mistaken Soul

Chapter Four | Bitter Flashbacks

"No one likes me." I stepped back.

"But we will." The tall blond woman moved forward. "I promise."

I felt it there. The bitterness.

No one knew who I was or where had I came from. Not even about my parents. At least that was what they told me because every time I would taste it. Sometimes bitter as hell while some other times sweet enough to eat me off. For eight years I'd lived in that orphanage house, prisoned between grey walls. Each day I would wake up to some hope but it was as if the same previous day was copy/pasted once again. Each day more and more parents would come to adopt kids until I was left alone. What was wrong with me? Wasn't I good enough? I was just an ordinary kid. The taste would rise here like a hungry monster, tasting like...like vomit.

And here they were to finally take a risk –adopt me.

"Come on, let's go!" The man who was supposed to be my father reached for my hand and tightened it between his big, long fingers. At the same moment, the woman –my mother- gripped my other hand and we walked out as a family. We exited the orphanage house and I felt the relief, the freedom, and for the first time in forever happy.

We walked through some people towards the freshly painted car waiting at a distance. The car that would take me away from this prison, forever. Before I could notice anything, my eyes met two other eyes glued at me from the car. Big green eyes. We walked over to the car and my father released my hand and pulled the door open for me. Someone was already sitting there. The boy with green eyes, dressed in ripped shorts and a black t-shirt sat in there. The boy who was staring at me moments earlier.

"Amaya, your brother Ian!" My mother -and of course his mother too- motioned towards him.

"Ian, your sister Amaya!" He welcomed me with a warm smile as I pushed myself in. No words but the smile was comforting. A brother.

A long drive. Breeze. Roads. People. Distance. It was all it took us to reach to my new home. My ever first home. I never had a home before.

My brother, I heard the woman –my mother- call him Ian, walked me to my room.

"Ready?" He talked to me for the first time as he pushed the door. A door to heaven.

Colorful plastered walls. Mattress bed with more than twenty pillows. Study desk full of stuff that I'd never seen before. Full-size mirror with lights. A closet full of clothes, my clothes. My room!

I ran for the mirror and brushed my fingers on the glowing fluorescent lights on its edges. I'd never seen such a clean and pretty mirror from close ever before. In the orphanage house, we'd only one cracked mirror in the restroom that I never got the chance to look into. I used to look at myself in the metal spoons during meal times. I stared at my face as looking at a stranger. I was filthy. Unwashed face.

My blonde hair was tightened up into a messy ponytail with a worn-off scrunchie. I pushed the few strands of hair away from my face and my deep blue eyes came in view. I was just beginning to focus on how ugly I was when Ian appeared in the mirror right behind me.

"You're pretty." He chuckled. "I'm leaving you alone with your room. Need anything, just knock on the next door." Then he walked in closer until I could feel his breath on my face. "The disgusting one." He whispered and left me alone.

I like my brother. I thought.

Months passed. We lived like the happiest family ever. We laughed, traveled, cooked and enjoyed together. My parents loved me like their very own child and in return, I didn't hesitate to call them Mom and Dad. Ian got used to me too. We spent nights playing what he called a Video game, talked for hours and laughed.

"I always wanted a younger sister." He exclaimed between his licks of ice-cream.

"Younger?" I frowned.

"Don't tell me that you thought I was your younger brother." He raised an eyebrow.

"I thought we're the same age." And I realized that I'd been fooled my entire life.

"It's a whole year difference!" He said it like it was the funniest thing in the world. But all I thought of after hearing it, was: I'm such an idiot.

Holding our hands, we walked back to our home, feeling the cold wind on our faces.

"Did you ever had a friend?" He asked me without bothering himself for a glance.

"Not before you," I said as the memory of the old days returned to my mind. I'd almost forgotten my past. Dark Nights. Cold mornings. Sad faces. My reality. "What about you?" I shook the thought away.

Of course, he does. I thought right after asking it but I hadn't seen anyone of them.

"No." He said it so easily as was no big deal. "I don't like making friends."

"Not even one?" I raised an eyebrow.

He stopped and looked straight into my eyes. "Not before you."

We both giggled and before even realizing, we were standing at our home's front doorsteps. The door was open so we just walked in. As we entered, I caught the sight of our parents shouting at each other. Everything happened so fast that I didn't realize when my mother pulled Ian away with her. Our tightened fingers slowly separated and I finally lost the hold of him.

"Maya!" He screamed as he tried to reach for me. I couldn't help it. It was as if I was frozen at a place. What was happening?

I realized it when my mother and Ian disappeared, shutting the door behind them, forever. They left me alone with my Father.

"Dad?" I tried not to cry but sadness had already sunk in. His eyes found mine and he wasn't the real him. He wasn't the man who'd gripped my hand and walked me over to my new family, home and life.

"Everything is your fault." He shouted at me. "It is your fault."

And the first tear trickled down.