Rise of the Gamer [Hiatus]

Chapter 1

This is not mine for offline purposes only.
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'I feel like I'm floating on clouds.'

My first thought upon regaining consciousness after that stupid 18-wheeler in the next lane lost control was that my surroundings were warm and comfortable. Also dark, very dark. Someone nearby was playing drums of some kind, some sort of repeating rhythm.

'Why is it so dark? And who the hell is playing drums?'

Looking around didn't help, everywhere was just dark. The drum beat sounded familiar though. It sounds like a heartbeat. If it is a heartbeat, that heart sure is beating fast.

'Who is playing drums in the rhythm of a heartbeat? Wait a minute, is that my heartbeat? No that can't be right, it's way too loud to be mine.'

I suddenly realized that my surroundings were constricting against my entire body. A warm liquid substance permeated my surroundings.

'Holy shit, was I eaten by a giant snake of some kind? Oh my God! What a shitty way to die! Oh God I'm in its stomach! Wait do snakes even have a stomach area or is it just one long stomach? Argh focus! How do I get out of here?'

Struggling proved futile. I could barely wiggle my arms and legs.

'Oh God I can barely feel my fingers and toes. Son of a bitch! Have they been partially digested? Is it because they have a larger surface area like how fries absorb more cooking oil due to a large surface area? Did my fingers and toes absorb more snake stomach juice compared to the rest of my body? Argh why am I thinking of this shit right now!'

The constricting feeling seemed to intensify and I felt myself slowly moving upwards.

'Nooo I'm moving deeper into the snake's stomach! Oh God I'm gonna get turned into snake shit. Is snake shit brown like human shit? Oh who cares what color snake shit is! I don't want to be snake shit! Wait a minute, muffled voices! I hear muffled voices! There are people out there! I'm saved!'

My joy was short-lived as I felt my head getting crushed.

'Noooo! Is this how Oberyn Martell felt as The Mountain was crushing his skull? Why am I getting crushed now? Don't snakes crush their prey before they eat them? None of this makes sense! What the shit kind of snake is this!?'

Suddenly I felt a giant claw grab the top of my head.

'Oh shit there's a giant crab inside this snake stomach!'

I felt myself getting pulled upwards by the claw. Noticing the absence of the warm liquid around my body and the cold rush of air against portions of my skin, I realized that I was outside the snake now.

'Oh thank God I'm out! Stupid snake! Stupid crab! Stupid 18-wheeler!'

Pain. A pain unlike anything I have ever felt before.

'Did someone just hit me with a cricket bat? Or one of those 50 Shades of Grey paddles? Holy shit that hurts!'

I cried out as the pain blossomed on my buttocks, spreading to my upper thighs and lower back. Opening my eyes to look at my attacker…