Billie Eilish's Assistant

005 : keep your sadist money

The next day, you decided to grab a suitcase and start packing your things as quickly as possible.

you ignored billie's shouts yesterday and locked yourself in your room as she banged on the door...

having sex with billie was nothing like you'd expected. in fact, you hadn't expected it at all, so that's why it caught you off guard so much.

as you walked past her room, you wondered if you should stop and say goodbye. did you owe her that at least?

the truth was...you didn't even want to leave the job. you needed it, you desperately needed the money.

but you came first.

you dragged your suitcases down the steps, "ah!"

billie was already there.

she was sitting on the chair — the one that billie liked to lounge on all the time, "it was my brother's. the chair."

"i didn't ask."

"but you were wondering weren't you?" billie stood up, you refrained from taking a step back, "yesterday, you were looking at his picture...in the room i don't allow you to go to."

"yeah," you rolled your eyes, "the one you shoved me away from before you took me to your room to unwillingly take part in your bdsm fantasies."

"i said i could explain..." billie placed a hand on your shoulder, the warm feeling of her hand on your skin gave you compliance.

"okay," you sighed, "you get one chance. explain."

"come," she motioned to her couch, "come sit."

"that's alright," you tried to get out of sitting next to her before she pulled your arm, yanking you beside her.

she held your hands, against your will and sighed before beginning to talk, "i'm not exactly the most welcoming person..."

"you can say that again."

"but," billie continued, "it's been really hard to let myself be open with people since finneas died."

"was he your brother?"

"yes. he died a few months ago..." billie looked down.

"i'm so sorry," you placed a hand on her shoulder, out of empathy - ignoring the fact you were supposed to be taking your distance.

"it's alright," billie sighed, "you don't have to do that, he died two years ago...he was my best friend, he got me through some stuff and more than that, he was my inspiration. after he died, i became angry. i couldn't write songs so i started doing other things..."

you looked to her with a look of confusion, so she continued, "drinking, fights, drugs. all that bullshit. i found a way to stop myself but i still have the need to let myself breathe in a way...fill out some kind of pleasure through-"

"whatever that was." you smiled a little.

"i can give you anything you'd want," billie said, "i'll up your pay check?"

"no, no, no...keep your sadist money. listen, the pay checks good. i could do with the extra money but i don't want to be treated like some kind of sex worker. how about...we make some rules? i don't want to be in the dark and have you suddenly shoving a three headed gun up my asshole..."

billie laughed, "i can arrange that."

you watched as she sauntered away, "the rules or the three-headed gun thing?"