I built this Home for me, for you

Chapter 21

The next morning, they were all eating breakfast together, and Lisa had even managed to coax Ryujin out of bed early with the gift of some bacon, but neither of them looked too happy about being up that early. Seolhyun had cadets again – her second week there – and she was a little less grouchy than she normally would've been about being up before eleven on the weekend, which didn't bode well for Jennie's plan. Chaerin listened with interest, as the only one who could manage to talk about the military without feeling bitterly upset, or having no clue what she was talking about. Jennie silently sulked as she listened to her daughter talk, stabbing at the frittata on her plate with a little too much resentment.

"So last week they told us we have this real soldier coming in today," Seolhyun excitedly said, "like an actual real one who served in Afghanistan. He apparently did three tours, and he's in town and they asked him to come and tell us a bit about his job."

"Sounds like you'll learn a lot," Chaerin said, her eyes darting to Jennie's and gaze softening slightly in pity.

Smiling brightly, Seolhyun nodded happily, "mhm, he's supposedly like this big war hero too. He must've seen a lot of combat, and probably killed a lot of people to be awarded that heavily. Hey ma, did you- did you ever kill-"

"Don't ever ask me that question," Lisa sharply cut her daughter off, a haunted look in her blue eyes as she tightly gripped her knife and fork in her hands. Everyone was caught off guard by the harsh words, and Seolhyun frowned slightly in confusion, her fork halfway to her mouth.

"I didn't me-"

Jennie reached out to gently touch Seolhyun on the arm, while Ryujin shoved a forkful of eggs into her mouth, looking between them all, trying to gauge the situation as she ate her breakfast. At the gentle touch on her arm, Seolhyun cut off, pouting slightly as she slumped in her chair. Of course she hadn't meant anything by her comment – she was just curious, and had spoken thoughtlessly – but today was a bad day to have asked. Lisa had spent all of the night before in bed, and Jennie had ordered the promised Chinese food and the two of them had watched old movies together, while Chaerin helped the girls with their homework and played scrabble with Ryujin while Seolhyun played the piano. It had been a quiet night, but this morning, nothing had changed, and Lisa was still as reserved as yesterday, uncharacteristically staying quiet through breakfast. Of course it had to do with Seolhyun's excitement at her second week of cadets, but it was largely due to her surprise run in with Taehyun yesterday. It had shaken her more than she liked to admit, but not as much as it had the first time, and Jennie was extra attentive this morning, well-tuned to picking up on the non-verbal cues that signified Lisa's moods.

"Ryujin, how would you like to go to the museum today, sweetheart?" Chaerin piped up, abruptly changing the topic, and Ryujin perked up at the mention of the museum and excitedly agreed. Jennie threw a grateful look at her mom, who gave her a tiny nod in acknowledgement, and slowly exhaled in relief at the thought of having some alone time with Lisa to help her sort through things. It would make it easier for them to talk without being interrupted by Ryujin asking if they had carrots to go and feed to the horses, or if Jennie would come and paint her nails for her. Not that Jennie cared at all – she loved to spend as much time with the girls as possible, because the weekends, mornings and evenings were all they ever really had together – but today wasn't going to be easy on Lisa. Jennie had found that the hardest part about being a parent was keeping it together for the sake of the kids, especially when they didn't understand what the problems were and just needed their mom, but sometimes you just needed to fall apart, and Chaerin was giving Lisa that option today.