Chicago PD Imagines

Ignoring

You were placing dinner on the table as Jay walked in the front door, he didn't say hello or honey, I'm home like he always did. Just threw his coat in the closet and went to the bedroom. You figured he was just tired and shrugged it off.

"Grace, come eat baby". You called for your four year old. She came into the kitchen wearing her tutu and fairy wings but she wasn't as happy as she was before Jay got home.

"Mommy"?

"What's wrong"? You asked as you placed her in her seat.

"Daddy didn't say hello love bug like he always does". She frowned. Every time Jay would come home he would scoop her up and call her love bug but today was different and it hurt her.

"I'm sorry sweetie, maybe daddy is having a rough day. We should leave him alone. Okay"? You kissed the top of her head and she began eating.

Not bothering with Jay's plate you sat down and had a meal with your daughter. She talked about her day and wondered why the clouds cried that day because she was having a wonderful day and wanted to play outside but couldn't since it was raining.

Your mind was on Jay, yeah he had some hard cases but not never left your daughter hanging for his attention.

After dinner, Grace got a bath and her pjs on. You tucked her into bed and read her a bed time story that Jay always did every night. The same one, Princess and the frog.
It was their normal night ruiteen. You kissed her good night and she snuggled in slowly drifted off to sleep.

Figuring Jay was hungry you heated up his plate and took it to him. He was laying in bed just staring at a picture of Grace as a baby.

"Jay"? You came in.

"I'm not hungry".

"Then would you mind explaining why you are ignoring Grace tonight? You hurt her feelings".

Jay kept quiet and turned over facing away from you. You sighed and placed the plate on the nightstand. Sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Jay, talk to me. Please".

Seeing his body shake as he cried made you cradle his body against yours. He pushed up off the bed and let you hold him as he cried into your shoulder.

"Jay, what's going on"?

"I shot a little girl by accident. I was shooting at a suspect and it went straight threw him, threw a door and into a little girl. I killed her". He sobbed harder.

"Oh Jay". You held him tighter.

"It's not your fault. It was a accident. You didn't know it would do that when you shot at the suspect. You can't blame yourself".

"Every time I look at Grace I see that little girl and that I took her life".

"That's why you ignored her. Jay, don't blame yourself. It will eat at you until you can never recover".

"I just want to go to her mom and say how sorry I am".

"I know, we can go together if you want"?

"I'm sorry that I treated Grace that way. I just didn't want to be around her. God, i don't want to be around my own daughter, what is wrong with me"?

"Jay. Nothing is wrong. You've been through something traumatic and it will take time but you can't freeze Grace out. She doesn't understand".

"I know. I'm sorry". Jay and you sat on the bed and held each other for hours until he was ready to let go.

He went to Grace's room to check up on her, she was sound asleep. He tip toed in and kissed her forehead. She stirred in her sleep.

"Daddy"?

"Sorry, go back to sleep. I was just giving you a goodnight kiss".

"I'm sorry about today love bug, daddy just had a really hard day. Can you forgive me"?

"Of course daddy. As long as I'm still your little love bug"?

"You'll always be my little love bug no matter what. Now get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning". Jay kissed her head and tucked her back in. You were waiting by the door for him as he came out. He smiled and wrapped his arm around your waist. He was starting to feel better but it will take time.