Delicate - eng version

Parents Dispute

Sometimes I wish was an animagus. Like right now, for instance. If I could turn into a bug or a bird or even a mouse, I could run out of this dressing room and live forever as an animal. Life would be simpler, wouldn't it? You mate with hundreds of different partners and nobody cares whether they've been with your cousins or not, because the chances are the thing you're mating with is probably your distant cousin anyway. But do you care? No, because you're a bloody insect and have no idea what a cousin is. And if I were an animal and pregnant, I'd probably just end up eating my baby when it's born. Problem solved.

But unfortunately I am a human witch, trapped inside this Gryffindor dressing room with Fred, James, Al, Dom and Malfoy staring at me with looks of pure astonishment on their faces. I can't even run out the door because they're blocking it. And even if I did run outside, there'd be hundreds of students laughing and pointing at me as if I were some sort of freak.

James is the first to recover from my bombshell. He coughs uncomfortably, runs his hand through his jet black hair (as he always does) and shifts on his feet for a while.

"H-how?" he asks incredulously.

"Would you like me to draw you a diagram?" I snap angrily.

What a ridiculous question.

"No, I mean...who's the father?"

Al, Fred and Dom nod and Malfoy looks really hopeful that I'm about to say some random name. But I don't say any name. I just keep looking at Malfoy, as if trying to tell him subliminally that it's his baby. But he just stares back determinedly because he won't believe it until I say it.

"Hold on a second," says Al, "why are you looking at him?"

Al is looking between Malfoy and me in extreme confusion. Dom starts laughing, but it's too high-pitched and nervous to be credible as a real laugh.

"You're joking," she laughs, "this is one of your weird jokes, isn't it Rose? It's like that time you ran around dressed as a Dementor at Nana and Grandad's wedding anniversary...we just don't get it, right?"

Again, I say nothing and look down at my feet because I can't look at Malfoy any longer.

"Rose!" she demands, "Tell me you're joking."

I shake my head sadly. Oh why did it have to happen like this?

"Him?" cries Fred, pointing at Malfoy.

"You're not serious, Red," James joins in.

I'm barely even listening to them any more. Dom has gone completely silent and Malfoy is speechless. I feel like I'm going to break down in tears any minute.

"How could you be so stupid, Rose?" Al cries, sounding just like Dad.

"Just shut up!" I scream, "I don't need you saying this shit to me, Al!"

Al, James and Fred all turn to Malfoy now. He's gone a hell of a lot paler than he usually is. He actually looks like he's about to faint.

"You slept with my cousin?" Al says quietly, but we can hear the definite anger in his steady voice.

"I – I erm..."

James and Fred draw their wands and point them at him, but they lower them ever so slightly when the door bursts open and in walks Coach Wood and Professor Chang. Wood looks really angry while Chang looks like she's about to cry - but then again, she always looks like that.

"What the hell's going on? Why are half the Gryffindor team in here? Malfoy, you shouldn't be in the Gryffindor changing room!" Wood barks.

"Potter, Weasley, lower your wands," Chang orders.