LANDSLIDE, james potter [2]

Chapter Thirty-Six

Lyra didn't feel anything. It was as if her body was completely numb. What was there to feel? If there was anything, would she want to feel it? Because without Sirius she didn't know if it was worth it. 

She had never lived entirely without him, she had always known he was out there. He was born one month before her and had always decided to act as though he was her older brother, even if they were cousins. He had always sworn to protect her and help her as much as he could.

Why couldn't she return the favor? She never had. She had been too scared to save him from Azkaban. She had left him to rot and the guilt had gnawed at her. He hadn't blamed her. She knew that. She could still blame herself. 

She didn't save him. Maybe she wouldn't have been able to if she had been there, either. But it wasn't like she'd ever know. She'd have to live the rest of her life not knowing, thinking that she could have saved him if she was there, if she had just left Lucius and stayed with the Order full time. They would have let her go. 

She had been too selfish and it might have killed Sirius. 

Lyra walked through the door of Malfoy Manor. She expected it to be quiet. The house elves never dared make a sound. Draco was still in school for a few more days and Lucius was locked up in Azkaban. She was going to be all alone for a little while longer. 

Or, well, she was supposed to be. 

Lyra could quickly hear a few voices, female voices, discussing something in hushed voice. One of them rather stern and another one sounding like she had been crying. It didn't take much thought to figure out who they were. 

Lyra stepped into the parlor, where the two women were located. She was right. There was Bellatrix and Narcissa, both of whom seemed to be dealing with the repercussions of the night. They both quickly turned to look at her. 

"Lyra..." Narcissa trailed off, her voice breaking. For a moment, Lyra wondered if her sister was actually sad because Sirius had died. Then she remembered that wasn't possible. It was because of Hector. Because he had been arrested and thrown into Azkaban alongside Lucius. 

Lyra refused to look at the other blonde. Instead, she focused on their eldest sister. Lyra's expression was colder than it ever had been. Her cheeks were streaked with tears but there was no sadness in her eyes. There was only a cool anger. "Get out."

Narcissa frowned, momentarily not sobbing out of pure shock. She had expected understanding, some sort of love from her little sister. Not whatever this was. "What? Are you serious?"

"I want you out of my house, Bella," Lyra continued, watching as Bellatrix's eyes went colder in retaliation. "How dare you come here? Into my home after everything you've done? How could you?"

Bellatrix scoffed, crossing her arms across her chest, covering the dirt on the top of her dress. "It's hardly my fault that Lucius wasn't able to lead a mission properly. You can't blame me for him getting himself locked up."

Lyra didn't understand how she could be so ignorant. Lucius was one thing. He was the one who refused to stay behind, who got himself into his mess. "I'm not talking about Lucius and you know it!"

"What else is the-" Bellatrix cut herself off as she realized. Then she started hysterically laughing, sounding like a mad woman. Lyra supposed she was one by now. "Is this because of Sirius? That damned blood traitor?"

Narcissa looked between her two sisters, obviously rather confused. She wasn't crying anymore. The confusion had gone to her head, almost making her forget how to cry. "What about Sirius? I thought he was on the run."