Antichrist (Frerard)

13: I'm A Vampire Hunter, Not A Childcare Worker

This was of course nothing more than a bad idea and even Bert knew that, and after all, it was just nothing more than his idea all along, but he had a stubborn nature a point to prove, so there wasn't a chance he'd even consider stepping down at this point, even surrounded by two assholes - one brooding, and one far too overexcited.

And really, part of Bert couldn't help but hope that Mikey Way discovered that he didn't like this Pete kid, just as much as Bob didn't, and them maybe matters could solve themselves from there forward and Bert could even wash his hands clean of the matter and pretend that he didn't lead the weird little emo to his demise, and then everything would be perfect, and everything would be fine, of course until somebody else died, and then things would just get fucked up and complicated all over again, because that was just how this stupid little place worked, and by now, there was simply no doubt about that.

"This is a bad idea." Bob's voice came to remind him - a hushed whisper, but one pulled off so inadequately, that not only did Pete hear him, but he perked up at it, ensuring that everyone knew about the indiscreet nature of Bob's comment.

"You just don't want him around." Bert reminded him, his tone far more hushed and pulled off well enough so that Pete turned away and pretended not to hear, at the very least.

"Well, you're not wrong." Bob added, shrugging as he imitated Bert's tone, because maybe he didn't want some amateur eighteen year old fucking up everything he'd spend years trying to do just to get this town to even recognise the concept of co-existence, let alone consider trying it, and now that this treaty bullshit was worth about just as much as Bob's respect for Pete, they were all already totally screwed, and really Pete was bound to only make things so much worse, and possibly even kick start the conflict if he was trying.

"Look, he wants to meet a vampire, and trust me - look at him, the moment he does, he will have decided that this is something he never wants to do again and he'll be out of here as fast as he can be, and out of hair, okay?" Bert met Bob's gaze, forcing a smile onto his friend's rather stubborn face - it wasn't working.

"If it doesn't work, you're fucking buying me a packet of cigarettes, you know that, don't you, Bertie?" Bob winked, smirking a little at the one positive he made for himself out of this mess, because with the determination in those eyeliner coated eyes, he was bound to be right, and at the very least, he had a packet of free cigarettes to smoke away as he watched this town descend into shit: if Pete started the mess, then he'd be the one to fix it, that Bob was certain of.

"Don't call me Bertie." Bert shivered a little at the uncomfortable nickname Bob had forced upon him, leaving the bearded of the two to chuckle a little in response, pulling his gaze back to meet the one of Pete, who was trailing awkwardly behind the two of them, still trying to bury himself behind his fringe, and after his mum insisted that he had it cut, it wasn't really working at all.

"Don't force me to put up with a stupid little 'kid' and then babysit him as we take him to meet the rare and dangerous 'Mikey'. Mikey even sounds like the name of a seven year old kid with a toy truck, not a fucking vampire. What even is this? I'm a vampire hunter, not a childcare worker."

"I'm not a kid, I'm eighteen... last week." Pete protested, of course gaining only laughter in response of his rather pathetic argument.

"Whatever, kid." Bob continued to roll his eyes in response, for once, and very much only once, glad that they were actually nearing Ray's record store, basically the only place you were sure to find Mikey, and for a reason Bob had now found himself almost uncomfortably acquainted with.

"Here we are, Pete... Pete was it?" Bert asked, blushing as he found that he actually forgotten the asshole's name, and Bob couldn't help but choke on his own laughter at that fact, gaining a slightly off gaze from Pete, who however was still generally quite stupid, and in consequence, generally quite confused.