A Cold Winter (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 14

As my conscience slowly returns, I bury my head into the pillow, trying to block out the light that was trying to burn a hole through my eyelids. I nuzzled further in, and the events of yesterday came rushing back. I sat straight up in the bed, my eyes wide open looking around the room. As I replayed the entire night, my cheeks reddened as I recalled all three of our kisses. The sunlight was pouring in from the window in front of the bed, lighting up the whole room.

How late is it? I stood up, stretched, and headed to the bathroom. Where is Luke? And why does it feel like I've slept for a week? After I relieve myself, I started off down the hall, trying to remember the layout of his house. My eyes wandered down the hallway as I headed towards what I was hoping was the kitchen.

My eyes locked on the picture sitting on the table at the very end of the hall. My body froze and all the color drained from my face. I picked up the frame, unable to help myself, even though I knew exactly who I was looking at. The picture was taken about 5 years ago, on Amanda's insistence they needed an updated set of photos. I couldn't tear my eyes away, Luke's broad frame sitting on a stool in the forefront of the frame. Amanda's arms were wrapped tightly around his neck. Eva was standing beside them, about 16, all three of them wearing huge smiles.

My whole body deflated as I sat the picture down. What was I thinking? If he has this picture out in his NEW house that he bought after she left, what does that mean for me? I know they were together a long time, but I'm not emotionally strong enough to deal with someone who could always leave me for someone else. This would never work, I should have known better.

"Well I would have thought someone who slept as long as you did would have woken up in a better mood." His deep voice startles me out of my thoughts, and I snap my head towards him, trying to force a smile.

"How long was I asleep?" I wince at how scratchy my voice sounds. Partly because I had just woken up, but partly because I was trying so hard not to break down in tears in front of him.

His sets down the knife to whatever he is cooking, narrowing his eyes at me. His eyes feel too intense, like they can see straight through me. I look down, afraid if I kept looking at him, I would break down. I can hear his footsteps getting close, but I refuse to look up. His fingers grasp my chin, forcing my head up to meet his eyes. He searches my eyes as he finally answers my question.

"About 11 hours give or take." He tilts my head to one side and then the other. "How long have you not been sleeping for? Your dark circles are still under your eyes." He takes a finger and gently traces underneath my eyes as he speaks. I close my eyes and revel in his touch, the gentle feeling of his hands on me.

The picture pops back into my mind and I take a step back, making him drop his hands. "I have to go."

His eyes narrow and I see them lock on something behind me before realization clicks. "Manny.."

I shake my head. "No, I don't want to hear it. I just want out please." He steps directly in front of me, hands reached out toward me. I can feel my eyes welling up already. I wipe my eyes angrily. "God dammit!"

He quickly closes in on me, caging me against the bookshelf. His hands are on me, wiping my eyes, drawing me into his chest.

"I need you to calm down, and look into my eyes." He grabs my face and tilts upward. I'm trapped in his serious gaze, searing straight through me. "That picture does not mean what you think it does, okay?" He wipes my cheeks again. "Now, lets quit crying and talk about it over lunch."

I swat his hands away, shaking my head. "No, I don't think so. I think I should just go.  This has already went further than it ever should've." My hands are flailing, desperately struggling to get free from the weight keeping me held against the bookcase.