Newt x Reader

PART EIGHTEEN

It's spring break so hopefully I'll get a lot more writing done!😉
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     I realize too late that I wasn't prepared for the emotional onslaught that crashes into me at the sight of him.
     Out of all of those emotions, though, I feel one more distinctly than the rest: anger. An anger that can only be explained by finally acknowledging the likelihood that, yes...
     I might still have feelings for Newt.
     With the flashback still in the forefront of my mind, I'm feeling a lot of things, but this anger trumps them all.
     He said it was fake.
     I have the strange urge to get up and slap him as all the things he said come rushing back into my mind.
     He starts to come into the room.
     "Newt, go away," I order firmly.
     "Y/N, what—" he starts.
     "Newt," Thomas says, mercifully drawing Newt's gaze away from me.
     They lock eyes for a second—Newt looking both perplexed and worried, Thomas looking resolute—before Newt backs away reluctantly, glancing at me one more time before disappearing.
     "You're gonna have to tell him eventually, you know..." Thomas says once Newt's footsteps fade away.
     "No, I don't," I retort coolly, as if there's no question about it. "Why should I?"
     Thomas crosses his arms. "This is about him, too, Y/N. You can't just think about yourself in all this," he contends.
     I scoff. "Yeah I can, Thomas. It's my memory."
     "Well, you were Newt's girlfriend," he counters.
     "He said it was all faked," I say, spitting out the last word. "Why should it make a difference to him now?" I ask, mirroring Thomas as I, too, fold my arms defiantly across my chest.
     "Because..." Thomas starts, much quieter now, "it wasn't fake." I open my mouth to disagree, but he goes on. "Just listen."
     I close my mouth, pursing my lips while I wait for Thomas to explain why in the Glade I should tell Newt that I'm his ex.
     "Right before he broke up with you, he came to my room and told me that...that he was being sent into the Maze."
"What?" I breathe.
Thomas nods in confirmation. "He knew that when you heard you'd be devastated; he ended it so that when you found out, you'd be glad, or—at the very least—okay with the idea of him leaving.
     "He said that making you hate him would hurt you less than the heartbreak you'd experience every time you had to see him in the Observation Room. He told me that he loved you too much to cause you pain every day, so...so he hurt you once instead." Thomas looks me dead in the eye. "But I promise, he did it—"
     "For me," I whisper, completing his thought.
     He exhales, relieved that I finally know and understand. "So," he says, "now that you've heard the whole story..."
     "I'm still not telling him," I mutter. Thomas begins to protest, but I cut him off, finishing by saying softly, "I think you should, though."
     "What?" he asks as if he didn't hear me right.
     I sigh, shaking my head at my prior selfishness, but also reminding myself that I didn't know Newt was doing it to protect me. "You were right; he deserves to know. I just...I wouldn't know how to tell him, so if you would...I guess, I'm asking you to explain it all to him."
     Thomas nods after a second, looking a little surprised. "Of course, I'll go talk to him. And I'll tell Frypan to give you the morning off; I think you should just take it easy for a little while."
     I can't argue with that offer.
Thomas moves toward the door.
     "Wait," I blurt out, my mouth speaking before my brain can tell it to shut up.
     Thomas turns back to me, eyebrows raised expectantly.
     "Make sure..." I hesitate, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden. "Make sure he knows that I'm not mad at him."
Anymore, I'm tempted to add.
The thing about anger is it always leaves a bitter aftertaste. You can try to get rid of it, but that takes time; you can't just "let go" of it without wrestling with it for a while.
     Thomas nods then leaves me to my thoughts as he closes the door quietly behind him.
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Anyone else relieved after hearing Thomas's explanation?😅

Thanks for reading!💖💖💖