THE BALLAD OF PAUL AND STUART PT 2

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Clingy!Stu gives Paul an array of unnecessarily cheesy nicknames, all of which Paul detests. They're just painfully embarrassing, much as his entire relationship with Stuart is.

Eventually, when he warms up to him, Paul starts calling him 'Honey Pie', which in turn makes Stuart swoon and giggle like a schoolgirl.

If he wants to be extra ((which of course he does, it's Paul we're talking about)) he sings him the actual song, but with some few adjustments:

'He was a working lad

North of England way

Now he's hit the big time

Far in Germany.

And if he could only hear me

This is what I'd say.

Honey pie, you are making me crazy

I'm in love but I'm lazy

So won't you please come home.

Oh honey pie, my position is tragic

Come and show me the magic

Of your Reeperbahn song.

You became a legend of the Hamburg scene

And now the thought of meeting you

Makes me weak in the knee.

Oh honey pie, you are driving me frantic

Sail across the Atlantic

To be where you belong.

Will the wind that blew his boat

Across the sea

Kindly send him sailing back to me.

Honey pie, you are making me crazy

I'm in love but I'm lazy

So won't you please come home.'


((I'm very proud of how I managed everything to rhyme, be about Stuart in Hamburg, and still make sense somehow))

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