Steal My Heart (Published)

Chapter 28

Narinig niya ang malalim na buntong-hininga ni Benjamin. Nakita niya ang kalungkutang bumalot sa mga mata nito.

"I know how devastated she was so I urged her to just stay with me. I did my best to comfort her, told her that she will get through her pain and heartaches. But it seemed that she already built a wall around her. Alam mo yung kasama mo ang isang tao pero parang wala rin siya sa tabi mo? That's what happened to Cindy. Sa ilang beses na pagkakataong hinimok ko siyang mag-share nang nararamdaman niya ay nanatili siyang tahimik. But I know that she's hurting. I saw her deteriorate. And the most frustrating part was that, I can't do anything to at least lessen the pain that she was suffering. At sa bawat araw na nakikita ko siyang nasasaktan, nahihirapan, nawawalan ng ganang mabuhay, bumabangon sa dibdib ko ang galit para sa taong gumawa nito sa kanya. Nagagalit ako sa iyo. You are the last person who hurt her, the person who should have saved her, but it turned out that you're also a wrecker. Mas lalo mo lang pinalala ang sitwasyon niya. And when I researched about you, I found out that you're a womanizer. So I have this notion that you just played with Cindy's feelings. And I hated you more when Cindy died..."

Napatungo ito. "I'm sorry... I'm really so sorry... I didn't know that my bad judgment will come to this..." Nakabadya ang pagsisisi sa boses nito.

"Cindy died in a car accident, Benjamin," she said softly. "That time, I blamed you for Cindy's accident. She wasn't really well for the past days since she came back to the States, and driving wasn't really advisable for her to do, but she did drive. Her loss gave me so much pain. You know, she's the only family I had left after the losses I'd been through..." Naging emosyonal siya sa puntong iyon. Tears welled from her eyes. The memory of losing Cindy was still painful. Lalo na noong inililibing na ito. She felt as if a part of her died, too, and went with Cindy in her grave.

Mahigpit na niyakap siya ni Benjamin. "I'm really so sorry..." hindi ito magkamayaw sa paghingi ng paumanhin sa kanya. "I'm really so sorry for what had happened to Cindy, for hurting her, for causing her pain. I didn't intend to do that. I hope she could forgive me..."

Isinubsob na lamang niya ang mukha sa dibdib ng lalaki. She cried on his chest.

"I know I've been such an ass, Maru. I thought everything between me and Cindy was okay after we talked. Hindi ko inisip na mauuwi sa ganito ang lahat. You see, we barely knew each other then. We've been drunk one night, partying from dusk will dawn. I was such a mess. I didn't know what really happened. Pagkagising ko ay tuwang-tuwa na si Cindy na ipinamalita sa lahat na engaged na raw kami, that I proposed to her, and that we're getting married soon. I don't know, but I was overwhelmed. That time, I'm not yet ready to settle down. Parang naipit lang ako sa sitwasyon namin. Nakisabay lang ako noong una pero habang dumadaan ang mga araw ay mas lalong lumalakas ang takot at pag-aalinlangan ko sa napipintong pagpapakasal namin ni Cindy. Hanggang sa hindi na ako nakatiis at kinausap siya. I explained everything, my doubts and fears, my feelings. I thought she understood. She even told me that she didn't really love me. So we have mutually agreed to cancel our wedding."

She swallowed painfully. That was the part that she had just discovered lately. Ang akala kasi niya noon ay sobrang minahal ni Cindy si Benjamin at nasaktan ito nang husto sa nangyaring paghihiwalay ng dalawa. But just last week, she tinkered on her things that she didn't dare touch for years. Nakita niya ang journal ng babae at binasa. Noon niya nalaman ang sobra-sobrang sakit na naramdaman nito nang mamatay ang mga magulang. At ang ginawang pagtataksil ng kasintahan nito ay mas lalong nakadagdag sa bigat nang dinadala nito. She was already devastated so much before she came to the Philippines. Ilang lalaki rin ang nakarelasyon nito bago nito nakilala si Benjamin. Cindy thought that he could heal her, and that he could make a good husband for her so she decided to set him up. Hindi pala totoong nag-propose si Benjamin. Gawa-gawa lang iyon ni Cindy. Pero tinanggap naman nito ang lahat nang umatras si Benjamin sa kasal ng mga ito. But it did hurt her though, more personally than emotionally.

"I know..." she whispered throatily. "I was blinded by my hate, by my desire to give you a dose of your own medicine before. Nang mamatay si Cindy ay ipinangako kong ipaghihiganti ko ang sinapit niya, ang sakit na naranasan niya mula sa iyo. Na gagawin ko rin sa iyo ang ginawa mo sa kanya. The opportunity came when I have to go back to the Philippines to sell our old house. Kailangan ko kasi nang pandagdag na pera para i-expand ang interior design studio na itinatag ko two years ago. Sinamantala ko na rin ang pagkakataon na mapalapit sa iyo habang inaasikaso ko ang pagbebenta ng bahay namin. I planned everything, from the first time we met, to the moment that you propose to me. I wasn't expecting though that my plan will backfire on me." Sandali siyang lumayo sa lalaki at tinitigan ang guwapo nitong mukha, ang tsinito nitong mga mata. "I didn't expect that I'll fall in love with you, Benjamin..." she whispered lovingly. She touched his face. "I tried not to, but it was very hard not to fall in love with you. You are just too irresstible."

A shadow of a smile crossed on his face. He gently caught her hand, and kissed her fingers. Napabuntong-hininga na lamang siya. Lahat na lang yata ng galaw ni Benjamin ay adorable para sa kanya.

Nagpatuloysiya. "My plan succeeded. I made you fall in love with me, and youproposed to me in a short time. It was mission accomplished, but I got sohooked with you that when the time came to leave, it was very hard to do. Therewas a time that I was tempted to just ditch my plan, and just pursue with ourwedding, but then, your status in life overwhelmed me. I realized that ourworlds are different. And then there's your family, your mother, and your longtime traditions. For a moment, I felt like I don't know how to fit in. I gotscared. But then again, I had a plan, and I have to stick on it. You knowwhat..." Her eyes crinkled as she looked at him. "leaving you hadnever been easy. Living without you for the past months wasn't surely a walk inthe park. I've got so used with you already that I felt like life had neverbeen so exciting anymore the moment I went back here. It became mechanical,boring at walang sense."