Seven Lights: The Last

Fair Game

Get ready for complex plot stuff.

Chapter F-27: THE SHITTY RACCOON

It was a pretty day for pretty kid land where the world was run by shitty snot kids and adults are stupid as shit because they don't do anything. The characters got off their sleep lumps and met in the lazy room with smiley dumb face faces. There was the black emo kid who wants to kill himself and kiss raccoons, and the white emo kid who wants to kill herself, and the beaver kid with gorilla feet, and—ARRGH, THERE'S TOO MANY CHARACTERS! What cursed, useless writer puts so many characters in one universe?! A real universe doesn't have this many people! We're just gonna keep black emo and white emo!

So, black emo wanted to kill himself by jumping off his house, but he falls on white emo because she wanted to kill herself by crushing her lung, but none of them died, so they got mad and tried to kill each other. Then beaver kid brought them a retarded raccoon that drinks booze. Oh, and it had a bomb on its breast. Black emo loved the raccoon and kissed it, and white emo loved the bomb and set it off, KILLING ALL OF THEM!! And they were happy because they were de-

NO, THEY'RE NOT DEAD! BECAUSE THEN THEY'LL BE GHOSTS! Let's do a different story!

Chapter F-27: FRIEND THINGS, NO DEATH

Today, black not-emo kid and green SAY SOMETHING girl were going to the kid pen. They got sticky cold stuff, but green girl dropped her sticky stuff, but black not-emo kid gave her his! FRIENDSHIP SAVES THE DAY!!

Okay, that one was good! LET'S DO MORE FRIEND THINGS!! This time, red friend guy wanted to go on a date with his hoes, but all the hoes wanted to fight over him because they're way more sexy! But red friend guy said they were all equally sexy, SO THEY ALL WENT TO BED AND DID IT!!

"Huff, huff, huff!" Fybi flew as high as she could, desperate to escape this horrid world. Just a minute before, they were on the hellish grounds before Ganon's Castle, and now they were in a horrid MS Paint recreation of their world. Mason, Miyuki, and especially Anthony looked atrocious. "What horrible fate hath befallen our friends?! All when my Winds of Truth touched Cheren... I must find a solution. I must escape this world somehow." She continued skyward.

"Oh, why would you want to leave?" Bill Cipher poofed out of flames, Fybi drawing her B.O.W.. "Wouldn't you rather join your friends down there? Their lives are so much better now! All they need is friendship, and from now on, that's all they're gonna have! I mean, think... The only reason you fight is to save yourselves and save your worlds, and to live in peace. But now, there's no reason to fight." Bill closed his eyes. "Because Lord English finally understands the Power of Love."

"Power of... Love? Is this thine twisted vision of love?!"

"Yes, His Lordship has a very unique style, I'll admit. Yet, it makes no difference. Lord English has grown a deep bond with all your friends. Now, he wants nothing more than to protect them. To see them live in harmony. I mean, just look at him!"

Fybi gasped. Only now did she see Lord English hunched over the world like his own personal play set. Smiling like a carefree child, he willed Terry over to kiss MaKayla. "Now Angry Snot is gonna kiss Time Bitch because he wants to have human larva, and he wants to get that straightened out now! And Purple White Shit is totally fine with that!"

"This... maketh no sense!" Fybi gasped. "Wherefore hast Lord English arrived at such a conclusion?!"

Hearing her speak, English looked up. "Oh! Hello there! You're friends with them too, right? Please, join us!" His grinning skull and wide flashing eyes would terrify any soul. "I know you're one of my sister's vessels, but I'll be happy to forgive you! Just promise not to piss me off anymore! Come on... Won't you play with us? I'll take good care of you."