Dark Nights

Chapter 5

~(...____Rowan Dane____...)~
_________________________________________

***If anything can possibly go wrong, it will***
-Murphy's law.
_________________________________________

I sighed as I watched my party from above, analysing and scrutinizing the different people in attendance, picking out their flaws and ripping their dignity to shreds in my cold calculating mind.

People should have known better -by now atleast-, well enough not to get drunk at my parties.

It always backfired.

Always...

They came seeking solace, a hiding place, a fortress -even for just a little while- away from the problems threatening to break their facades.

They would forget all right, they would drink and party all night, damning the consequences they knew would come the next day, all for what to have reality crashing down on them the next day with even more force and even more problems than before.

And yet they still came back.

Again...

And

Again...

And

Again...

And

Again...

It was sickening, pathetic and quite disheartening frankly.

Fake...-and probably very stupid-

Each and every one of them.

Pretending to have happy lives -the coolest cars, the trendiest clothes, the most expensive holidays- getting to a point of no return where they weren't even sure who they were trying to convince anymore: their peers or themselves.

People drunk...

People sober...

People groping...

People lonely...

Then...

People like me...

People who threw back to school parties -or any type of parties infact- just to ensure their spot on the popular kids table, people who had nothing better to do than to watch from above condemning the failures of the human race with slow -sad- shakes of the head and a sharp condescending tone. -As if I was any better than them-.

There was nothing special about me, never has, never will. I just happened to be the best friend of the golden boy and quarterback of Grayland High, I had this player thing going for me and I wasn't exactly keen on correcting them, sure I'd slept with more than half the population and never bothered to call them again instead moving on to the next pretty face.

Those high cheekbones and angular jaw could get just about any girl.

I was just a kid with parents I almost didn't have and more money than I knew to do with being the only child and all -after they'd disowned my older brother for being gay-.

I lifted the cigarette I had been holding absentmindedly to my lips, taking a long drag, letting it fill my lungs -with the invitation to drain me of all the life I had- before I let out the smoke, the burn in my chest clearly welcomed.

Was I dead?

Last time I checked which was two seconds ago I wasn't.

What about now?