Dark Nights

Corinne's Journal : #Entry 143

Dear Melanie,

I miss you, I miss you everyday, I miss your wild green eyes, your crazy gestures, your tangled never-yielding auburn locks. And your beautiful smiles, yeah I remember, the ones that looked like you captured the sun in a bottle.

Dr. Seth would probably flip his shit, if he saw this entry. He keeps yapping on and on, about how I need to forget, to move on, to live life, something along these lines, he said it was what you would have wanted.

How the hell does he know?

He's never even met you!

I remember mom's concerned smiles, dad's troubled gaze, locker room gossip, whispers in the hallway and Cyan's confused demeanour about it all.

I remember how I would shut down and refuse to function, refuse to go to school, refuse to do homework, refuse to attend dance practice, refuse to talk to anyone, refuse to do anything but drift and dream, clutching every item you had ever forgotten in my room to my chest and trying to remember how to exist. I would lock myself in my room and focus on sleeping, taking pills if I had to, could you blame me? It was the only place i could see you.

'Corrine Woods is broken,' they would whisper amongst themselves. I left them to interpret the situation whichever way came to them. She is sad. She is depressed. She is rude. She is quiet. She is judgemental. She is a bitch. It's been six months since the car crash, she should have gotten over it by now.

I didn't even get to tell you, tell you how much you meant to me, how you lit up my world, how I thought you were the most amazing person ever. I didn't get to tell you how much I loved you.

It took 16 years for me to find you, to know you, to love you, but all it took was a 20 minutes drive and a drunk bastard to send you flying, flying upside down, flying away from me.

It just wasn't fair!

It took Dr Seth, five months of torturous, heart-wrenching therapy sessions to snap me out of my self-pity funk.

They knew it wasn't the same,it would never be the same but they would force it to look that way anyway. I wouldn't take it, I knew you deserved better, far better. You didn't deserve to be forgotten, you deserved to be idolized, written on the hearts of each and every person you made a difference to, you deserved to be loved.

I am homesick for a place I know doesn't exist anymore. One where my heart is full, my body loved and my soul understood. For one to be homesick, one has to have a home first, but both you and I know that my home is with you.

I have to go now, I have dance practice in 15 minutes and mom isn't going to be happy if I miss this one again.

I'll come back, I promise.

I'll see you again, I promise.

I'll keep all my promises, I promise.

Yours Forever,
Corinne Woods.

*****
Author's note:

Alright can the guesses start rolling in.
I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. Wasn't planning on updating for a while but oh well.

This chapter is dedicated to Miamichael for your amazingly funny comments.

And to writing_with_sass for the beautiful dark nights cover.