Cold Hard Gold

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Orny Adams as Coach Hedge

Amoriel only woke when the yelling started

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Amoriel only woke when the yelling started.

"Ahhhggggggh!"

She and Jason leaped to their feet. She wasn't really sure what was more jarring-the full sunlight that now bathed the room, or the screaming satyr.

"Coach is awake," Leo said, which was kind of unnecessary. Gleeson Hedge was capering around on his furry hindquarters, swinging his club and yelling, "Die!" as he smashed the tea set, whacked the sofas, and charged at the throne.

"Coach!" Jason yelled.

Hedge turned, breathing hard. His eyes were so wild, that Amoriel feared he might attack the boy so she grabbed her sword from her bracelet, ready to attack or block at any given moment.

"You're the new kids," Hedge said, lowering his club. "Jason and Amoriel. " He looked at Leo, then Piper who'd apparently also just woken up. Her hair looked like it had become a nest for a friendly hamster.

"Valdez, McLean," the coach said. "What's going on? We were at the Grand Canyon. The Anemoi thuellai were attacking and-" He zeroed in on the storm spirit cage, and his eyes went back to DEFCON 1. "Die!"

"Whoa, Coach!" Leo stepped in his path, which was pretty brave, even though Hedge was six inches shorter. "It's okay. They're locked up. We just sprang you from the other cage. "

"Cage? Cage? What's going on? Just because I'm a satyr doesn't mean I can't have you doing plank push-ups, Valdez!"

Jason cleared his throat. "Coach-Gleeson-um, whatever you want us to call you. You saved us at the Grand Canyon. You were totally brave. "

"Of course I was!"

"The extraction team came and took us to Camp Half-Blood. We thought we'd lost you. Then we got word the storm spirits had taken you back to their-um, operator, Medea. "

"That witch! Wait-that's impossible. She's mortal. She's dead. "

"Yeah, well," Amoriel said, "somehow she got not dead anymore. "

Hedge nodded, his eyes narrowing. "So! You were sent on a dangerous quest to rescue me. Excellent!"

"Um. " Piper got to her feet, holding out her hands so Coach Hedge wouldn't attack her. "Actually, Glee-can I still call you Coach Hedge? Gleeson seems wrong. We're on a quest for something else. We kind of found you by accident. "

"Oh. " The coach's spirits seemed to deflate, but only for a second. Then his eyes lit up again. "But there are no accidents! Not on quests. This was meant to happen! So, this is the witch's lair, eh? Why is everything gold?"

At that, Amoriel looked around. Realizing that the coach Hedge was right. All around them was glistening gold- the statues, the tea set Coach Hedge had smashed, the throne chair. Even the curtains-which is just ridiculous. From the way, the other three caught their breath, she guessed they hadn't noticed it either.

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