Back To You

one

"I HATE YOU. OH GOD HOW MUCH I HATE YOU!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I didn't care who heard me. I didn't care if China could hear me. All that mattered to me in this moment was how much I hate the girl that's standing right in front of me.

"Babe—" she started but didn't get to finish before I interrupted her.

"No. You don't have the right to call me that anymore. I'm not your babe, I'm not your baby, and I most definitely am not yours anymore. Get out of my house." I pointed towards my bedroom door.

She looked at me one last time with tears in her eyes and that's when I started crying.

"Please...just get out of my house." I stared right at her, even when the tears flowing down my face. This was the first time she's ever seen me cry. She knew how hurt I was. I never cried in front of her. She finally walked out of my bedroom and not even 20 seconds later I heard the front door close. I went to sit down on my bed and started crying even harder into my pillow. I don't even know how much time passed when I heard the faintest knock on my door.

"Come in.." I knew it was my dad. There's no one else in the house. It's just him and I. My mom passed away when I was 14 years old. I didn't have any siblings, so it's just my dad and I. He's my best friend. He's my rock and I'm his anchor.

I slowly sat up on my bed. My dad sat right next to me and looked at me. He reached his hand up to wipe the tears away.

"What happened kiddo?" Shit. He doesn't know I'm gay. I know he probably should since he's my best friend but it's a big part of me that I'm scared to tell him. Oh well, here goes nothing.

"Dad. I'm gay." I looked down immediately afraid to see what his facial expression was going to be. He just started laughing, all I heard was his laughter. "Why is that funny?" When I looked up at him all he did was smile at me. It was the proud smile. I knew that smile. He always had that smile around me. It made me crack a smile small.

"Honey, I knew you were gay since you were in diapers. You came home from school on the first day of kindergarten and told me you were going to marry this one girl in your class. Whenever we watched movies together, you would stare at the female characters with googly eyes. Your mom and I both knew. She didn't care and neither did I. We even had a bet on when you were going to come out to us. That reminds me she owns me 10 dollars." He started to laugh again and I couldn't help but laugh along with him. He really is my best friend but oh how I miss my mom.

"You and mom had a bet on me?" I playfully shoved his shoulder.

"She thought you were going to come out freshman year but I thought it was going to be your senior year and guess who was right!! I'll give you a hint. He has two thumbs." He started shaking his two thumbs and pointing at himself and he had the goofiest smile on his face.

"You're ridiculous." I couldn't help but laugh at my dad. He always knew how to make my day better, no matter what I was going through.

"But seriously, what happened between you and Alex?" Alex. I couldn't help but to start to cry again. He pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back. "Hey it's okay. You're okay. You don't have to tell me now."

"I was going to find her after school today before she had soccer practice. I couldn't find her but I eventually found her in the locker room making out with some girl. When I turned to leave I hit my shin on the bench and she heard it and yelled my name but I just continued to walk away. She had soccer practice so she couldn't follow me. So she came over after practice and we were arguing up until I told her to get out and here we are now." I was fiddling with my fingers but my dad lifted my chin up so he could look into my eyes before saying.

"You still love her. Even after the hell she just put you through. I looked at your mom the same way still after I found out she cheated on me. It's going to take time. Give it time. You don't have to talk to her right now or ever again, but y/n you're smart. Don't start a fight if she starts talking to you. Talk to her. Don't yell. Be the bigger person in this. Show her what she's missing out on." My dad was always good at giving advice. He always knew exactly what to say. No wonder he's an author. But the words that stuck with me the most was that I do still love her. I know it's only be 4 hours since I found out and you can't stop loving someone that quickly. I just think a part of me will always love her.