wow...cindy, no | lgbt+

5| part two

Rafael snaps back to his senses and slams the door shut.

From the outside, he says, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I mean, I didn't hear running water, so I asked myself if everything's fine. I'm leaving dry clothes here. Hope they'll fit."

He goes silent for a few seconds. "I'll be downstairs helping my mother finish lunch." One more sorry, and I hear him step away in the hall.

I sigh. And do things one by one: pull my pants up, stand, walk up to the sink and get the damp sheet without care. Then take a warm shower and pick the clothes Rafael left at the door.

The rain is still pouring outside as we sit around the Furtado's table once I come downstairs. From the transparent windows, I glance at the sky, not any different from that morning. It won't be different that night. Except that it will be dark, and maybe the rain would cease.

Mrs. Furtado is kind enough to call Lia herself before we begin eating.

I ignore Mr. Furtado and Rafael's attempts to engage in banter around the table, focusing my ears on Mrs. Furtado and what she would tell Lia.

The only thing I'm able to understand clearly enough is when she tells Lia not to worry about me.

She joins us around the table with a smile. "Done, we're adopting you for the rest of the school year" she says, leading Rafael to look at me amused.

I'm still not over the bathroom shock, so I look down to my empty plate.

During the meal, Mrs. Furtado insists that I call her Beatrice, every time I address myself to her. She also frowns on what she deems as being overly polite. By that she means my seemingly thoroughness while using cutlery. And my insistence in complimenting her food and my sparing of words. I have no idea what that last one even means.

Compared to home, there is a clear contrast in the way they speak and eat around the table. Sometimes they even laugh with their mouths half full. It's clear that Rafael's father is dying to abandon us and go watch his game, but the other two don't seem to care.

There is something different about Rafael here. As if the version of him that is here is his real self and his school version just a mere shadow of him. Or maybe he had just completely outgrown that shy version of him I used to know.

I realize now that a lot can happen in two years. I have been looking at someone, thinking I know them, when in reality he is already someone else. Not shy, anymore, just calm, and confident enough to remain unpopular despite leading a club in school. He doesn't need to appear cool to actually be cool.

Meanwhile, I'm stuck here, unable to come out to my mother, with bad grades and possibly no friends. Even when I'm able to get a fairy Godmother from God knows where, I somehow repel him.

I'm jealous... Of Rafael? That's it. I've reached rock bottom.

When lunch is over, I help Rafael clean the table. I'm aware that all I have to do to go home is ask their parents if they can drive me there. I was unsure about going to Rafael's at first but being away from home was exactly why I went biking this morning. I guess that is a win. Now Mrs. Furtado, herself, has put her finger on it and talked to Lia. So, I'm fine.