wow...cindy, no | lgbt+

6 | part one

Staying grounded has now become my new normal. On special occasions, Lia allows me to go out to have fun. Or arrive at home later than seven at night.

It's nothing new to me. So, I'm mad at myself because I didn't think about tonight's basketball game— and specially the party to take place afterwards— before I told Lia that she could just ground me a few days ago.
 
To be fair, I am not convinced the outcome would have been different. Even if I had just surrounded to her tyrannical rule. 

This damned golden bracelet stuck around my wrist constantly reminds of my Contract, but it has been a while since I last saw Cindy around. As the days pass without seeing him, I'm feeling a mix of missing and concern about him. The feeling increases like a weight being added on my shoulders each day.

If I go with my gut feeling alone, Cindy won't show up soon. I almost forgot how unlucky I am for a while.

Still, Cindy could not have a worst timing to go on hiding.  Was signing me up for the poetry club was as much as he could do for me, and now I am supposed to walk on my own feet?

That's what I am determined to do tonight. Walk on my own feet. Obviously, I can't do much about the basketball game. It's happening right now as I plan the night ahead of me. But I am going to Patrick's for the party after the game. 

This time I am not using the main entrance to get out, unlike last time. My way to freedom will be my window. I glance at the rectangular gap as I picture the rest of the night after I'll have fled the house. 

Just the thought of actually doing it makes me gulp with fear. But it still amazes me how I haven't thought of using the window to get out of the house before. It leads to the roof, that leads to mom's garden, just fourteen feet below. I can't help another gulp when I think of the height.

I refill myself with courage with a long, slow inhale. Once the window is open, all I need to do is to be stealth enough when I step on the tiles of the roof hip. I'll be fine if the tiles don't crack.

The columns of the porch will be my way to the garden. I picture myself clasping them to slide downwards. 

I got this. Thought all of it before-hand. The garage's key is already inside my pocket. And in the garage, a ladder is ready to help me climb to the window when I come back from the party.  There's no place for failure. 

For some reason I still feel nauseated just from thinking about stepping onto the roof. And it's not just apprehension. It's the kind of fear that sends shivers down your spine. I have to ignore it. Whatever I do, I am going to the party. I need to.

Rafael was right. I need to confront Jord about everything. I need to know what is going on between us, or what will be going on from tonight on, to be more precise. Because all of this is starting to feel like some game of seduction from a reality show.