Mental

Chapter 5

"Your anemic." Ashton took Ella.

"What does that even mean?" She asked.

"You need to eat more iron. Taking a supplement can help." Ashton said.

Ella nodded. It was due to the lack of food. Anytime she ate, it wasn't much. Just enough so that she was still somehow alive.

"Your going to get admitted to the hospital again if you don't let me help you." Ashton told her.

Ella didn't know what to say. She knew that her eating disorder controlled her but she didn't know how to stop it.

"How are you supposed to help me if I can't even help myself?" Ella asked.

"We need to come up with a plan that will be reasonable." Ashton said.

Ella felted worried. She knew for this to work, she needed to trust and let Ashton help her but it was hard. She had never really trusted her old psychiatrists. She never liked them. But Ashton was different. He really showed that he wanted to help. That's what made Ella agree.

They came up with a plan that Ella would start with eating small portions multiple times a day so that her stomach could get used to eating more again. Ashton wanted her to drink two ensures a day. Once in the morning and once at night. Ella and Ashton came up with a plan that Ella would try foods that made her uncomfortable in a couple of weeks.

Ella left with the plan on paper and a promise to Ashton that she would try.

Ashton called Ella's dad to make sure he knew the plan and that they were all on the same page.
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The first day went a little Rocky. Ella refused to eat at first but after her dad pestering her for awhile she gave in. To drank the ensure drink he gave her and then had some cereal with milk. She had multiple "meals" throughout the day which were really small but would work for the first couple days.

Ella felt so disgusted at herself at the end of the day. Her stomach was bloated due to the food and she was kind of breaking out. She felt so alone. She cried herself to sleep that night wondering if it would always be this hard.

The next couple days still kind of sucked but they got a little better. She went to see Ashton the day her food intake was increasing.

"How are you doing today?" Ashton asked.

"Not great." This was the first time Ella actually said how she felt.

"What's going through your head?" Ashton asked.

"I feel super fat and bloated. I'm breaking out and I feel like this will never get easier."

Ashton nodded. "Recovery is hard. The start of it is always the worst. You might have bumps along the way but you'll get better. I can see it in you."

"I'm just scared about gaining weight. I know it has to happen but I hate knowing the number on the scale." Ella said.

"We need to start weighing you but you don't have to look at the number." Ashton said.

"What's the point. It will never be enough." Ella said.

"We want to see if your getting better physically to not just mentally. It won't happen over night but I'm willing to help you if you let me." Ashton said.

Ella nodded. She knew she needed the help. She agreed.

Ashton took Ella to another room to get all her vitals. He did he weight last knowing the thought of being on the scale worried her.

"And we're done." Ashton said.

He brought her back to his office were they discussed how the plan would be moving forward. Ashton told her he wanted to see her gain at least 2 pounds in two weeks. Ella knew it would be hard but she was willing to try.

Ashton hopped Ella would stick with the plan but he didn't know.