Life in the Palace (Prince Harry #5)

Chapter Twenty

Maybe it was because he slept so much during yesterday or maybe it was because he had so much on his mind, but this time away from the public eye hadn't made Harry's heart fonder of what he missed. He didn't miss the people, the lights and the cameras. He didn't miss the constant being followed and people screaming at him. He didn't miss being told what to do and being somewhere on time, talking to people that cared more about publicity than actually doing good. This time with Meredith had been peaceful, and he wasn't sure he was willing to give it up.

Meredith slept peacefully in the bed, and he watched her. Meredith had a good head on her shoulders. She cared about people, and she wanted to do good. But, he knew that deep down it was eating away with her. She was eroding because of what the media and people said about her. She put on a good face, and Meredith had this uncanny ability to take things in stride. But her anxiety had only increased since learning she was pregnant. He saw that clearly.

Harry had been having these thoughts for a while, maybe his whole life. He always imagined what a normal life might be like, but he knew it was never in his grasp. He could never be "normal" or what most people would consider "normal." Meredith had been normal in almost sense of the word, and it wasn't a bad thing. It had drawn Harry in.

They met at a party after all, where Meredith and a friend had snuck in. Meredith had known she was out of her league the moment she stepped in, and she wanted to get out. She was overwhelmed by the whole thing. Harry didn't want to think of himself as a knight in shining armor, but in this case, he was. Meredith had been drawn in my glitz and glamour, and a part of her liked it. And a part of her-- clearly-- wanted to run away. There were many times throughout their relationship that Harry thought Meredith was going to quit, but she never did. Meredith powered through, chasing love.

Her life would be easier right now if she hadn't done that. Her life would be normal and closer to what she probably imagined would happen.

Rubbing his face, Harry tried to think about how this conversation was going to go. The sun was starting to come up, shining through the skimpy green curtains. They were going to go back to Meredith's dad's house today, and it was another week before heading back into London. He was dreading it. Maybe this time away had been considered "boring" by some, but this was where he wanted to be.

He needed to gain confidence before speaking to Meredith about it. She seemed to only be walking to go back to London, like that was where her whole life. He didn't want that to be her whole life. She did it for him, and he knew it. But she had lost her mom before the wedding, and she was always so much closer to her father. She shouldn't have had to leave him too.

Biting his lip, Harry decided to wake her up. She groaned and then flipped back her blonde hair.  She was bleary eyed. "What's up?" She glanced around the room for an emergency. When her eyes come back to him, she blinked at him and then worried. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

"Not really," he admitted.

She straightened. "What's going on? Did something happen? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He gave her a weak smile. "It's just...." He didn't know where to begin. "Mere, can you take this with an open mind? I may sound absolutely metal or crazy, and I'm not sure even sure where I'm going or how this would work."

"Okay. I'm all ears," she promised, keeping any open mind as she possible could. With Harry, she was willing to try her hardest. Meredith sat beside him.

Harry nods. "I've been thinking because the last couple of weeks has been amazing and comfortable--"

"Boring?" she asked, trying to fit in the correct word.

"A little bit," he conceded. "How did you feel? Haven't you liked being home? You've talked about how much you love Minnesota and how you love your friends and your family. You gave it all up to move to London, to be with my friends and family. How have you felt while being back?"

"Um.... Harry, what's all this about?"

"What if-- there was some way and I don't know yet-- that we could move to Minnesota? Live here."

The dots were not connecting for her. "But you're a prince of England." There was a Wales at some point, but she ignored that right now. "You're supposed to be in England and London and -- you know, the United Kingdom. I'm missing something."

"What if I gave that up? What if we gave that up?" They were in this together after all.

"That's been your whole life?" she questioned.

"It's not been yours," he responded. "You've been here for a long time. You know how to live a 'normal' life."

"Oh, so that's what you want? A normal life?"

"Do I sound crazy?"

"I'm just wondering where this is coming from, Harry. Just the other day, we were talking about our future in London. We were talking about what we were going to do and how we were going to decorate." After their honeymoon, they had gone on their world tour, and then they came here. They hadn't been back in London for a long time, it felt like. He was right that it no longer felt like home, but Meredith never thought London was home. She just said it to say it. Their Kensington Palace apartment was what it was.

"What if we didn't go back?" he asked, a smile on his face.

"We have to go back. Our stuff is there." Really, Meredith was trying to keep an open mind, but she needed to be practical. "Your whole life is there. You cannot just not go back."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Would you come with me?"

"Of course."

"Even though Minnesota is your home."

"London can be my home too; it just might take some work." She took his hand and squeezed. "Harry, what's going on?"

"I'm not sure I want to be a prince any more or a duke or in the royal family."

"They're your family," she urged.

"They're my family, but they're my family whether or not we're royal."

"There are a lot of technicalities here," Meredith said. "There are a lot of things consider--"

"But you'll consider it?" Harry asked.

"Yes, but we need a plan. We need to know to go and how this ends up. I-- personally-- need to know because my anxiety is only going to go through the roof if we don't have a plan. These things take time. We can't just run away from London. We'll have to go back and decide from there."

"If that's what you want."

It wasn't what she wanted. "It's what needs to be done." She stood up and checked her watch. "We have to go soon anyway. We can discuss this on the way home." She started to pack.

Harry liked the sound of the word "home."