Entry 4

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His name is Kim Namjoon. And he knows my name. He's really tall. He's really handsome. He has a beautiful smile. He has dimples. We met in a park. He has a beautiful laugh. His eyes shine like a million stars. His hands are soft. He's gentle. He's sad. I don't want him sad. I want to know... what makes him happy?


[Her]
I watch the boy in front of me in the grass. His name is Kim Namjoon.

I glance down at my notebook before glancing back up to him. He seems happy. His eyes shine like stars. He doesn't look sad.

"What makes you happy?" I lean forward.

He tips his head to the side. He smiles. I like his smile. It lights up his face. "Music, writing, nature," he lists them off one by one. "Crabs."

I stare at him. "Crabs?"

"Yep." He grins. "Do you like crabs?"

"I don't know," I reply. I don't remember. I don't like to look into the past. There's only blood and broken glass in the past. "Do they taste good?"

Horror rips through his face. "What?" He cries out. "No! You don't eat them. They're our friends. You don't eat friends."

He's appalled.

And I laugh.

I can't help it.

When I stop laughing he's still staring at me. But the horror is gone and he gazes at me softly, a little smile on his mouth.

"What about you?" He murmurs. "What makes you happy?"

What makes me happy? I stare at the ground. Something is bubbling up inside me. It's a dark feeling. It's an ugly feeling. I don't know. I don't know what makes me happy.

All I know is broken glass. All I know is blinding headlights. All I know are sirens screaming as—

"Hey." His fingers touch my shoulder and I snap out of my mind.

I snap out of the memory that happened yesterday. No, not yesterday. They say it happened two months ago. But it was yesterday. I know it was yesterday.

He gently touches my cheek. His eyes search mine. His eyes are warm. His eyes feel like home. "It's okay," he murmurs. "It's going to be okay."

He's a liar. He's a beautiful liar with beautiful lies. I wish I can believe him. I wish I can believe his beautiful lies

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