「my boy」 | Johnnyboy

Hardships.

( Third person POV. )

"Hey." Greeting was soft, a small smile painted on Johnny's features despite the gash that resided on his now bruised lower lip. It kept trying to heal, but then he'd bite it or scratch at it and it'd open up all over again. Hugging himself tightly as he walked in, Ponyboy was too distracted to even notice the wound at first. He said nothing at first, peeking back as the nurse stepped out of what they called the family room and left the two to visit. Finally, he found his voice again, refusing to meet the male's eyes. He had previously been feeling a little better, until he'd stepped on that scale. Now he couldn't stop obsessing over it.

"I've gained eight pounds." His words were unsteady, heart drumming painfully against the cage of his ribs. He had been here for a little over a week. He couldn't stand the sight of himself, but even without any access to a mirror, he knew he was disgusting. He'd debated having the nurses tell Johnny to come back another time, too ashamed to show him how dreadful he was sure he looked, but he'd pushed through. The guilt of turning him away would've eaten away at him. "They started me on this new medicine that's supposed to... level things out, but all it does is make me fat."

"Maybe it's just water weight. I hear sometimes medicines can—"

"It's not water weight, Johnny. It's real weight. They won't let me skip any of the doses and I'm not allowed to exercise unless they watch me." He was supposed to take it twice a day, one in the morning and one at night. It was absolutely killing him. "I keep telling them I don't need it, but they won't listen. I'm not even eating that much."

"Well..." He swallowed thickly, unsure of how to handle any of this. He stepped forward, fingers gently curling around the male's crossed arms as he slowly pulled him over to the couch. "You don't look like you've gained any, baby. I can't even tell..." It was all he could think of to say. He'd never had to comfort anyone about this, never really had to comfort anyone at all. He was still new.

"Well, I feel it. And I can tell." He insisted stubbornly, still refraining from looking at him as they took their seats. He refused to move his arms, hugging himself as though that would help hide himself.

"Well... you don't look it."

"Well, I feel it." He repeated sharply, clenching his teeth as he squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his arms around himself. Pausing, he sighed lowly, shaking his head. "I'm sorry..." Bright hues finally flickered open, gazing over at his lover again. "I'm not trying to be mean, I know you're just trying to help... How are you?"

"No, it's all good... I get it." He paused before answering the question, though, briefly hoping he wouldn't say anything about the new marks he was sporting. He wished there had been a way to cover it up. Lord knew Ponyboy had far too much on his plate already without having to add something like this. "I'm okay. I really miss you." However, it was after a long moment of staring at him that the brunet finally took notice, just as he'd feared. Instantly, arms untangled themselves and his hand reached forward to gently press his fingertip against the gash, yanking back as Johnny jerked away with a soft gasp of discomfort.

"What happened?" Lips turned downward in a frown, allowing his fingers to drop to instead stroke at his cheek so he didn't risk hurting him anymore. "Is it your dad?"

"No, it's fine. It happens..." Shaking his head, it was his turn to avoid eye contact now. "I don't wanna talk about it, it can wait. I came here to see you." Pursing his lips, the youngest of the two fell quiet before an uneasy nod of his head followed.

"I wish you could stay with me..." He whispered under his breath, moving his hand to fully cup the male's cheek before dragging his face closer and kissing his nose tenderly.

"Me too." Johnny huffed out a quiet sigh, closing his eyes as he savored the moment. He wasn't sure whether he should touch his boyfriend intimately or not—with the way he was feeling, it could've easily made him uncomfortable. Instead, his hands rose. One rested against Pony's, the other cupping his cheek in return.

"They say I can be signed out in a couple of days." This seemed to perk the eldest up a bit, eyes eagerly flying open. Wide with relief and excitement, he locked gazes with him.

"Really?" A quiet nod of confirmation was all it took before that smile had graced his features again, diving forward to press their mouths together despite the small sting that radiated through his lower lip. When he pulled back, though, he frowned a bit. "Are you sure you're ready? You said you didn't want to take the medicine, have they—"

"They're making me go to counseling every week." He replied in a hushed tone, the distaste clear in the way his words were formed. Nodding again, he flashed his lover what he hoped to be a reassuring smile. "I'm ready, I promise. I can't wait to get out of here..." He wanted—no, needed—to be home. He needed normalcy, company that he enjoyed. The other patients weren't bad, but it wasn't the same as having his family with him. He was suffering from a serious case of home sickness, above all else.

"Okay." Johnny echoed out beneath his breath, nodding slowly without breaking their eye contact before the tiniest smile slithered onto his features. "Okay." He repeated, leaning forward to press the most tentative kiss to his lips, ignoring the sting from his newest injury. As they pulled back, Ponyboy's eyebrows furrowed.

"Now tell me what happened." The insistence was stubborn; he wasn't letting him drop this, not this soon. He needed to know he was okay, he needed to know he was safe.

"We started talking about my aunt and he just..." Pursing his lips into a thin line, he shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment. "It doesn't matter, really. I'm just worried about you."

"Johnny, please." His voice was thick, bordering on a cry. He felt so fragile right now, he wasn't even sure the medicine was working. Maybe it was. He couldn't tell a big difference, all he knew was that everything hurt. Everything felt so close to breaking, but he was safe for the time being. "Please don't shut me out... I just want to be here for you. Like... like you've been here for me." With another nod from his counterpart, lips parted with a softly audible smack.

"We started talking about my aunt and-"

"Ten more minutes until dinner." The nurse peeked in to interrupt, earning an annoyed glare from the youngest of the two.

"I'm not hungry."

"Please go... I'll call you tonight and we'll talk, I promise." A tense moment of silence filled the air and then, alas, the brunet met his eyes again. Slowly, his hand rose, extending his pinkie.

"Promise."

"Promise." He echoed, linking their fingers and giving it a squeeze before pecking his lips again. He watched him get up, saying their farewells before rising to his feet as well. He was happy he'd been able to see him, but he wasn't looking forward to that talk. Maybe he could get passed it... emotions weren't exactly his strong suit.

AUTHOR'S NOTE;
t

his chapter sucks, but here it is after months of inactivity. consider this my "gift" for the end of the year. happy holidays!