Our Hill of Stars

02 North Star

E L I

I wiped my hands on an old towel, but it didn't get rid of the grease stains. Out of habit I almost rubbed them on my jeans but stopped myself just in time. I didn't need to ruin another pair of jeans. My nine-year-old sister made a tsk sound with her tongue as she observed this.

"Can I help you, Hazel?" I asked and flicked the old rag at her.

"You'll ruin your nice jeans," she said. For a kid who had only just learned to ride a bike, she certainly acted like a miniature adult.

"How about I ruin your nice jeans?" I asked and wiggled my dirty fingers at her.

She squealed and ran across the garage from me. "You shouldn't be wearing your nice clothes out here anyway!" She stuck her tongue out at me.

I hadn't intended to. I actually just wanted to go for a ride but realized I was overdue on my oil change. I was a bit disappointed in myself for letting the oil change for my motorcycle slip my mind. It was my baby after all. Things had been hectic lately and it slipped my mind.

"Come on you," I said, crooking a finger at Hazel. "Let's go have some ice cream."

Her face lit up and she jumped down from the garage's work-bench. I could always deactivate her Mom-mode with the promise of ice cream. Even mini-adults were not impervious to the siren's call of churned and frozen sugar and cream.

"Justin bought peanut butter cookie dough!" She proclaimed, running out of the garage ahead of me.

I was glad of the darkness outside the garage so she couldn't see my grimace. I was being too hard on my seventeen-year-old brother. Just because he'd lately been a little shit, didn't mean he was all bad. Buying Hazel's favorite ice cream without being asked was likely his way of apologizing for my catching him smoking the other day. It was better than no peace offering, I supposed. What would have been better is him not smoking, altogether, but I'd take my victories where I could get them.

Hazel bounded on the dirt path from the garage to the house. She twirled about, half-heartedly trying to catch fireflies. I smiled, happy to see her so blissfully happy tonight. Nights like this were rare.

Ever since our mom died, I'd been in charge of the family. With one visit from the Austin PD, I went from Eli Cormac college grad to Eli Cormac, family man. I was used to being the man of the house since my dad walked out on us after Hazel was born, but now I acted as both parents. That was a real shift for me. I had always had my mom to lean on and now she was gone. I handled everything as best I could.

Two years of packing school lunches for Justin and Hazel. Taking Justin to marching band practice, wrangling Hazel for soccer games, all while working full time at a deli and taking on odd jobs fixing cars for people. Some days I was bone-tired from it all.

But seeing Hazel chase fireflies on a pleasant May night like this made it worth it. I was able to pay the mortgage on our mom's old house outside the Austin city limits and keep my siblings clothed and fed. All things considered, it could have been worse. So much worse.

"Look!" Hazel pointed up at the sky. "My teacher says that's the North Star."

I stepped up alongside her and followed her pointing finger. We had better visibility than people in Austin, but there was still light pollution this far out. Even so, I could see the bright star Hazel looked at.

"Make a wish," I said.

Hazel tapped her finger to her lips and squeezed her eyes shut. "I wish you didn't have to work so hard." She giggled and took off down the path. She ran into the house and the screen door slammed behind her.