Delilah's Tears

Chapter Six

James

My whole body seemed like it was scowling. I wasn't sure I'd ever erase the molten black cloud which hung over me as I boarded the last plane back to the Middle East. I've lost my brother. Forever. I felt like a traitor leaving Delilah standing alone on the cold white tile of the airport as I made my way through security and out of her sight. From the other side of the scanners I peered through the crowd at her, still and blinking and totally lost. She couldn't see me. Delilah simply stood there as if the last person on earth had been taken away from her.

If there was anyway I could have pulled the plug on the rest of my tour, I'd have done it in a heartbeat. In the days after the funeral, Delilah's red-rimmed eyes turned into dark circles. Even I could tell she'd lost weight. She wasn't eating much. I coaxed a few small meals into her, though not nearly enough. I worried she would stop eating and breathing altogether without me to watch over her. She declined the strongest arguments to stay with her parents for a while. Delilah wanted to be at home where she would constantly be reminded of John. His presence in the condo was everywhere. My brother's spirit didn't die with him. It even touched me while I was there.

My last full day in LA, Delilah returned to work. She went in around five in the morning and didn't come back until well after eight. In the late afternoon I went to check on her. Claiming a back-log of work, she refused to leave. Her assistants, Tami and Matt were clearly concerned. Tami mentioned Delilah had refused anything but coffee all day. If I weren't to leave the next day, she'd have repeated the process. But, Delilah had insisted on seeing me to the airport. I wanted to kill whoever made it impossible for me to stay. The dark thoughts plagued me the whole damned trip.

Finally back on base, I head straight to my tent and get to work shining my boots and doing a thousand other small, insignificant tasks. Tomorrow there will be an early briefing I'm sure will end in a strike or other mission. My heart isn't in it, which is a dangerous thing out here.

An alert beeps on my computer. Delilah sending a FaceTime request. I can't open the laptop fast enough.

"Hey, D-doll. You doin' okay?" She looks like shit. I probably don't look any better.

"I'm all right. I wanted to be sure you got back safely." I calculate the time. It's four-thirty in the afternoon here, making it around four in the morning there. Delilah isn't sleeping. Jesus.

"Doll, it's too early there. What are you doing awake at this hour? You need your rest, babe."

She shrugs and turns away from the camera. "I slept for a few hours. I'm good. It'll be time to go into the shop soon anyway."

I sigh. From halfway across the world there isn't much I can do but provide moral support. "Are you eating, Delilah? Please tell me you're eating."

She shrugs again. "A little. Food doesn't taste very good." Her eyes meet mine this time. "Honestly, I'm trying. I had soup for dinner."

"Did you really? How much did you eat?"

"About half. Got full. Fell asleep in front of the TV again." The only time Delilah is able to sleep fairly well is on the sofa. The bed she shared with John is big and empty. If she passed out on the sofa, she probably got in a few hours.

"Do me a favor, D-doll?"

"What's that James?" A little spark of curiosity flickers on her face.

"I have to focus while I'm here, babe. You're on my mind 24/7. Work on eating and sleeping. For me. For...him." I can't bring myself to say my brother's name. If I avoid it, it isn't so painful for either of us. "He'd want you to take better care of yourself. I want that too. When I come home in a few months, I want to see the Delilah I know and love." Yeah. Love.