Saving Laurel

22. Enigma

Wes Thompson

Brett, Savannah and Ellie take one look at me before they glance at each other.

Yeah, yeah, I feel worse than I look.

I'm stiff and sore and my head still aches. My sleep was restless which isn't good for my tics and I'm walking through the halls like a slug.

But I have a strict rule with myself about going to school after nights like yesterday. My OCD already controls so much of me, I'm not going to let it talk me into staying at home to avoid any stressors. Besides, it's all mostly focused on my mom's well being and she definitely isn't staying home.

I'd probably just go crazy. Or well crazier.

So before they have a chance to focus on me I ask "where's James?"

Savannah points down the hall and sure enough there's James, talking with Darren and Cora. His back is to me but Cora's eyes meet mine and she smiles, her fingers lifting from the books she has clutched to her chest in a little wave. I wave back.

I don't know.

Brett's probably wrong. Cora's just nice.

Savannah's hand finds mine, her fingers like ice like they always are and it's then that I realize I've been tic-ing. All small ones, mostly quiet but as I focus on the goosebumps that creep across my skin because of her cold hands I can feel the pent up tension in my muscles that's residual from constant tics.

It's going to be a long day, not just for me but for everyone I'm around. Sorry in advance.

But Savannah's cold hand gives me something to focus on and she knows it. All my friends know it and somehow they all came to conclusion that the girls were better suited for the gestures in public. I appreciate it, not that I care. Anything that allows me to distract myself enough to settle my tics is fine with me.

There was this one time Brett and I were at the mall, I needed some new shoes and we had nothing better to do. I'd been anxious all day and was having a hard time keeping my tics quiet. We were picking up disapproving looks as my coprolalia reared it's ugly head and it was only a matter of time before someone approached us. It always happened, they always thought I was just trying to be disruptive and rude. We'd go through the motions of explaining that I had Tourette's. It's amazing how many people don't know crap about it.

That's a story for another day though.

Anyway, in an attempt to distract me from myself Brett grabbed my hand and we walked like that through the mall until some kids started pointing at us. I remember thinking that we must have teleported to the stone ages. I mean for real, who cares if we were gay or not. Girls can hold hands and people not immediately think they're lesbians. And besides that, come on, who cares, love is love. Whatever. But I watched Brett's skin flush with embarrassment, his palm growing slick in mine and I tugged my hand away with a sheepish smile when he looked at me confused.

I didn't care. But Brett did.

He already had to deal with me, I wouldn't make him anymore comfortable, at least if I could help it.

"Hello! Wes!" Fingers snap in my face and I jerk my head to the side and whistle.

"Huh?" I look down at Ellie who's staring up at me, eyes rimmed in black.

"How was yesterday?" A smile spreads on her face but I can see the list of questions she's gearing up to ask.

It's the whole spread, starting with the prying ones about how it went with Laurel and the rest. The ones that give her a little wrinkle right in the center of her forehead. It only shows up when she's worried or contemplating something hard. And sure enough it's there.

"It was fine." I answer but I don't want to talk about yesterday. So I shift my gaze back to James who's still talking to Darren, Cora gone from their party and say "are they friends?"

Brett clears his throat, sliding his glasses back up his nose, Ellie turns, her pink tipped hair slapping me in the chest as she does.

And Savannah looks lazily down the hall at her brother and says "it's James, he's friends with everyone."

I can hear the jealousy in her voice. For the two of them being twins, they're completely opposite. James is athletic and outgoing, academically smart and overall charming. Savannah though she's smart, her focus is all on art. And she's crazy talented. But I know it gets at her. The easy way her brother floats through society, Savannah always seemingly lost in the shadows.

I've told her before, being noticeable isn't what it's cracked up to be. I'd pay good money to not be noticed.

James finally parts ways with Darren, a friendly slap to his back as he goes and as his eyes meet our rag tag group of friends he smiles.

"Hey Wes." He greets, a bundle of sunshine first thing in the morning like always.

My shoulder shrugs, my neck jerking to the side, I inhale sharp but Savannah's got a hold of my right hand which is usually the hand I tic. My muscles still clench rather than release hers and I end up squeezing her hand sort of hard.

"Hey." I tell James before I turn my head a little and quietly tell Savannah "sorry".

She just squeezes my hand back.

"What were you talking to Darren about?" Ellie asks, the warning bell finally ringing through the halls which is our signal to head to class.

We move as one unit, a disunited blob of bodies shuffling through the crowded halls. Savannah doesn't let go of my hand, even as we  have to stretch and condense to make it through the other groups of students. 

"I'm going to help him with a class." James says. "We were just making plans to hang out this weekend."

"You didn't make plans during movie night right?" Ellie hardens her gaze like if he says yes she's gonna go after him.

James just tosses his arm around her shoulder, an awkward gesture because of their height difference.

"Of course not. I know where my priorities lie."

He smiles down at her and even though appearance wise they're the equivalent of black and white, it's not the first time I've wonder if there's something going on there.

But his answer satisifies Ellie and her attention shifts back to me.

"So Wes, it's your turn to invite Laurel. I did the hard work and broke the ice. You're welcome."

I'd be less hesitant about inviting Laurel if I could figure her out. But she's an enigma and I'm not sure what to do with that.

                               ———————

You all were less than enthusiastic for that double update I suggested but I love you so here it is.