The Deep End » Outer Banks [JJ Maybank] BOOK ONE

V: Ahoy

ahoy
noun. a cry to draw attention.

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When Lee woke up the next morning, her entire back hurt and the knuckles on her right hand were bruised. She groaned as she remembered the yardwork she still needed to finish, throwing on some clothes before running downstairs.

"Hey, mom?" she called out, wandering into the kitchen. "Mom?"

There was no sign of Laura Carter in the kitchen or living room, so Lee wandered towards her mother's bedroom.

"Mom, are you in here?" she asked, cracking open the door. She saw her mother standing on a scale in the far corner of the room. "Hey, I've been yelling at you," Lee said, stepping into the room. "Are you okay?"

Her mother didn't respond, staring down at the scale. Lee walked up behind the woman, noticing that she hadn't gotten dressed or put on a head scarf yet. Placing a hand on her mother's back, Lee glanced down at the number. Laura Carter had always been a small woman—much shorter than her husband and, ever since Lee had turned 13, a couple inches shorter than her daughter. Despite this, Lee had never seen her mother look as small as she did in that moment, shoulders slumped and pale eyes crestfallen as she stared down.

98.8 lbs.

Lee sighed. When her mother had started chemotherapy for the second time, the doctors had warned that there could be some significant side effects. No amount of warnings could have prepared Lee for the reality of life with a cancer patient.

"Do you want me to make you something to eat?" Lee said timidly, staring at the back of her mother's head.

Her mom shook her head. "I'm not hungry."

"Are you sure?" Lee insisted. "I can make anything you want—"

"No, Lee," her mother repeated more forcefully, slowly turning to face Lee. "It'd be a waste of food. It would just come up."

Lee reached out towards her mother, but her mom stepped away, grabbing a cardigan from her closet. "Mom, you have to try eating. You can't just give up!"

"I'm not giving up, Lee!" her mother replied sternly. "But we don't have the money to buy lots of food and I know that if I eat, I will just throw it back up. I also know that I have a growing teenage daughter who needs to eat."

Lee's chin wobbled as her tears threatened to spill over. Her mother was rarely stern, so the sudden outburst was somewhat surprising. "I'm gonna go, okay?" Lee said, her voice cracking and breaking the illusion of strength that she aimed for.

Her mother sighed, wrapping her frail arms around Lee slowly. "Oh, honeybee, I'm sorry," she murmured, pulling Lee's head down to her shoulder.

Lee reciprocated the embrace, holding her mother's boney figure against herself. A single tear fell from her eye, her mom noticing it before Lee could furiously wipe it away. Lee pulled away from the embrace and her mother gripped her tightly by the biceps.

"I'll be okay. I'm going to call the doctor as soon as the phone lines are back up and let her know about the nausea, okay?"

Lee nodded, biting her lip in an effort to keep from crying any more. "Okay," she murmured. "I'll clean up the yard a little before I go to John B's."

She stepped away from her mother, whose hands fell to her sides. Her mom nodded sadly, watching quietly as Lee quickly walked out of the room and out of the back door.

Once Lee was outside, tears spilled from her eyes. She clenched her jaw as she buckled at the waist, putting her hands on her knees so that she wouldn't fall over with grief. Chemotherapy wasn't supposed to be easy. Cancer wasn't supposed to be easy. Hell, life wasn't supposed to be easy. But Lee was sure that it wasn't supposed to be this hard. She wasn't supposed to have been with her father when he died and she definitely wasn't supposed to be watching her mother slowly succumb to cancer. She wasn't supposed to have to be this strong as a 16-year-old.