Kissing in a Dream

Will Come to Light

The was crisp and cool after a night of rain, lightning and thunder. I sat in the backyard, sipping from coffee and staring down at my phone. Each time the screen light went off, I hit the button to make it spark again. I'd spent the better part of the night, trying to get a hold of Tar.

For some reason he thought I had a girlfriend.

I sighed, took a swallow from my coffee and exhaled.

"P?" Lala called. "P'Tes?"

"Out back." I groaned.

She popped out the door with her tea and sat beside me. For an eternity, she said nothing. I remained in my head, trying to figure out what Tar was thinking. I needed to know what he meant, who he meant and why he would think I was dating someone.

"Tell me something, how long are you going to let Tar drift away from you?" She asked.

"You know?"

"Of course, I know! You're my brother." She sipped. "Besides, we've talked and I see the way you look at him. You were always bringing him lunch and staying. Then when you come back you talk about him nonstop—tell me what happened."

Where did I even begin?

"I thought everything was going okay." I managed a small sip of coffee since my mouth had suddenly gone dry. "He was concerned about me and acted in a way as if he was chasing me and I couldn't have been happier. Then, last night I was at the Bar getting something to eat with Aim—"

"Stop right there." Lala interrupted. "He saw you with Aim?"

"Yes. Could you stop interrupting?" I asked. "Anyway. I tried talking to him. But he wouldn't listen to a thing I had to and oh my god that's what he meant!"

"I was wondering how long that would take you to figure out." Lala muttered. .

"I think I need something stronger than coffee."

"It's barely eight in the morning!" Lala protested.

"It's five o'clock somewhere." I told her.

"Look, you have no on else to blame for this but yourself," She said. "Everyone has been telling you Aim's attachment to you isn't normal."

"She knows I'm gay. What would she gain by trying?"

"I don't know." Lala shrugged. "She's nuts? Maybe she thinks she can convert you? There are women like that. But if you don't say something to her and talk to Tar, you're going to lose Tar before he's even caught you."

My heart sank.

"She needs to learn certain behaviour is not appropriate. She can't be all over you. As friends, we hang off each other and hugs and jump on each other. But the way she is with you, I can understand why Tar is upset. He doesn't want to be the other lover and I respect that."

I sighed.

"He didn't even tell me he was chasing me."

"This is not his fault." Lala sighed. "Don't you dare make this his fault. You're my brother and I love you. But you don't know how to set boundaries when it comes to P'Aim."

She stood. "Now, come inside. I will make you breakfast."

"I can't." I placed my mug down and hurried toward the door.

"Where are you going?" She called.

"To find Tar."

I left before Lala could talk anymore. After the conversation I just had with her, my body felt as if I wa fight—where I lost. I liked P'Tar—I liked him a lot and it seemed I'd already lost him before anything even began. Maybe I should put myself out there and go after him.