Closer to You (Book One ✓)

T H I R T Y - O N E

With one last look in the mirror, I adjust my graduation cap slightly, feeling the photo of my parents that I'd sewn into the top pull against my hair. Leaning back, a smile spreads across my face as all my freckles stare back at me. "Here we go," I whisper, a nervous, happy feeling warming my heart. "Ready to go, Kim?"

I pull my heels on, using the kitchen counter of our senior apartment for balance. Looking around the living room, bittersweet tears prick my eyes. Bins of our things: wall decor, fairy lights, textbooks and thousands of pages of notes, our bedding and TV's, all of the college paraphernalia we'd collected over the years, line the walls of the small living room. This is really it, I think for the millionth time as I take in our bare walls.

Kim pops out of her room in a flowing white dress, her dark hair bold against the lace. Tears well in her dark eyes, too. "Emma, I can't do this," She giggles anyway as she waves air at her eyes, trying to dry her tears.

I extend my arms to her and engulf her in a tight embrace. Pretty soon I won't live with her anymore and I won't be able to see my best friend whenever I want. My roommate since sophomore year, Kim has seen me hungover, stressed out, sad and homesick, but she's also been one of the people I have the most fun with, no matter what we're doing - going out to the club or getting groceries.

"We can do this, heck, we did this! I'm so proud of us." I release her and feel my own grin mirroring hers. Giving her shoulders one last squeeze, I wink at her. "Now let's go kick graduation's ass,"

Kim laughs and grabs her long, black robe. Checking our caps in the mirror one last time, we grab each other's hands and leave our apartment to make it to the shuttle.

***

"Emma Marie Carter!" President Miller announces my name and I almost burst with excitement as I cross the massive stage, meeting the college president in the center. "Congratulations," he offers me a kind smile as he hands me my diploma and I shake his hand enthusiastically before making my way down the line of class deans.

"Thank you," I look out to the audience in time to hear a loud shriek. Despite Gemma's toned down hair, a light strawberry blonde now, I find their faces in the crowd easily. I beam at Nadine and Gemma standing side by side, waving a large sign with my name on it and making more noise than anyone else. My heart almost explodes with the love I feel for them, knowing I wouldn't have gotten here without them.

I find Kim's face next and she gives me two excited thumbs up before waving her own diploma in the air. My gaze falls on Riley a couple of rows down and I stiffen a little as I take the stairs back to my seat. As President Miller announces another student, Riley meets my eyes and offers a bright grin. I let out a small breath of relief - was breaking up with him a month before graduation a proud moment for me? No, but it was the right call in the end. The more we talked about the future, the less right it felt to stay with him.

Taking my seat, I'm glad we aren't enemies. He was such a huge part of my college experience and I'll never, ever forget that.

Once the last students in my row takes their seats, I sneak a peek at my phone and notice a message from Val. It's been awhile since we've talked - now that she'd been promoted from her assistant position and I'm finishing up school, our schedules clash a lot of the time.

Val: Congrats, college grad! So proud of you & so happy the dragon lady brought us together. Girls trip SOON!!

Smiling, I type back a quick response before focusing  on President Miller's voice and the general excitement in the air as we cheer on our classmates crossing the stage. Mom and Dad's faces fill my mind and I know they must be happy out there somewhere, looking down on me graduating from the same college where they met and fell in love. The thought makes me feel closer to them than ever before.

I wait patiently as our class dean makes her closing remarks, followed by the valedictorian, all the while, trying to hold back tears. I had the best time here, but that's what makes saying goodbye so hard, isn't it?

Before I can get choked up, we're instructed to stand and toss our caps in the air. Following suit of everyone around me, I throw my head back and fling the cap as high as I can, the weight of the world lifting off my shoulders as I do, so all that's left is the crazy feeling that I'm ready to conquer anything.

***

"Phew," Nadine wipes a hand across her forehead lazily. "I can't believe you ended things with Riley. We could've used him right about now," She chuckles, eyeing the few boxes still left to bring down to the moving truck.

Once I'd gotten all my college things home, I repacked to move into my new condo. Condo, I giggle at the word, feeling hardly old enough to be moving into a condo. It's so adult. An energetic tingle sets butterflies off in my stomach, excitement at finally having my own place finally setting in.

I place my hands on my hips and consider what's left to bring downstairs. "I don't know," I shrug. "The more Riley talked about 'our future,' the more I realized I'd been making all of my plans without really thinking about him or what he wanted." I tape up another box of plates on the counter. "I know that sounds bad, but I think when it's right... I'll just know." I let out a shaky breath, just hoping that I didn't pass up on the right person already.

"Mmm," Nadine nods, bending down to grab a bag of clothing. "Sounds like you did the right thing, Miss Emma. Even if it means I have to carry more boxes." She raises her brows at me before heading down the stairs, leaving me alone in the small living room.

I let out a deep sigh. I'm going to miss this place, but I think it's time for another girl with big dreams to get her start here. I trail my fingers down the short hallway wall, stopping at my bookshelf and plopping onto the hardwood floor. Grabbing a box, I begin unloading my books into the bin, careful not to bend any pages or covers.

An envelope flutters to the ground from the pages of The Great Gatsby, the copy I got when I visited LA for the first time, and my breath catches in my throat. Without picking it up, I know the handwriting on the front - I all but studied it when I first got the letter. It came during finals sophomore year but I quickly tucked it away - not ready to open up wounds that had only begun to heal.

Peering down the hallway, I don't hear Nadine back yet, and I assume she got caught up chatting outside.  Biting my lip, I slip a finger under the fold and slowly take the letter from the envelope, noticing the heaviness in my hands despite the thinness of the paper.

Pressing the thin sheets to my nose, I inhale and am instantly taken back in time, recalling the first day we met as vividly as if it were only a few days ago, not years. The sweet smell of smoke and him fills my nostrils and I see the green of his eyes perfectly in my mind, seemingly unable to forget them even if I try.

With a deep breath and slightly shaky fingers, I unfold the pages and begin to read Beau's letter.

Dear Emma,