Lost Thoughts

Grief... (poem 21)

Grief...

It's that feeling...

That feeling

that makes you feel like you're drowning,

your legs aching,

as you try to stay afloat.

It's the feeling of sadness,

clawing at your throat,

threatening to let itself out.

Out with a choke,

or a sob.

But you hold back

just enough so that nobody

would realise.

Realise that you truly weren't okay.

Even if you said you were.

Grief...

It's that smile.

That smile you've been

so good at faking,

that no one really asks

if you're okay anymore.

It's a cry for help.

A cry for help that no one hears.

That makes you think

that they don't care,

so you keep it bottled up inside.

But in reality,

they do care.

You just don't realise it,

because you're blinded.

Blinded by all that hurt you're feeling.

All that hurt you're concealing.

Grief...

It caused that anxiety,

rising higher and higher,

making you want to cry.

Cry in front of your classmates,

because you're too scared

to present in front of them.

Or it causes the anxiety

that rises when you are presenting,

and you feel like they're judging you.

Judging every mistake you make.

Counting the number of times

you stumble over your words.

The number of seconds

it takes for your legs to stop shaking.

Grief...

It's a horrible thing to have to deal with,

and I don't want anyone to have to go through it.

Not even my worst enemy.

But if you are dealing with it,

you'll get through.

Because I did too...