Cherry Pie

Departures

[Rayne]

"I still can't believe you punched our dad in the face," Sam told me late the next morning as he and I were returning from our jog.

"Don't remind me," I groaned. "I mean, as much as he deserved it, I'd still rather not have met him for the first time in that unfortunate way."

"Actually, I'd say it was very fortunate." Sam chuckled. "I have wanted to do it so many times over the years, you have no idea."

I smiled weakly. "So I guess I beat you to the punch, huh?"

He draped an arm over my shoulders, smiling. "If there's an opportunity for a pun, leave it to Rayne to find it."

"I'm like a hound dog...but I sniff out puns and pop culture references."

Sam gestured to a bench that was up ahead and we sat down to take a breather. "So how are you holding up from the whole shapeshifter thing?"

"How do you think?" I asked — finding myself more amused at the question than anything. "It only happened last night. I guess that with being a hunter you have to get used to horrifying, life-threatening experiences though, right?"

"Yeah," Sam agreed rather glumly. "Yeah, that's the general rule."

"Well, then I'll just have to suck it up, won't I? I'll be better in a few days, Samster." I patted him on the knee. "Don't you worry about me."

He didn't look convinced. "And how are you handling these...abilities that you mentioned."

"I don't want to talk about that." I bent over to give my calf muscles a stretch.

"Fine, then what's going on between you and Dean? Don't think I haven't noticed."

I knew he meant well, but he was bringing up every topic that I just wished I could wipe my hands of completely and forget. I looked up to give him a strained smile. "I don't want to talk about that either."

"It's going to eat away at you, Ray. Take it from someone who knows."

How was I supped to tell Sam that I felt a subtle revulsion now whenever I looked at his brother? That the thought of his lips on mine sent my skin crawling? These feelings were tearing me apart on the inside — I didn't want to put the same burden on Sam. I just needed time to forget about it and move on, and talking about it wasn't going to help.

"Come on," I said, standing up. "I'll race you back."

Normally, with his long stride, he would have been ahead of me in seconds, but for some reason that morning he stayed on my heels, letting me take the lead. We were both panting by the time we got back to the motel. Sam's hand on my shoulder stopped me just as I was about to go in. "Just remember, you're not the only freak in the family. I'm always here if you want to talk."

I flashed him a genuine smile. "Thanks, Sammy."

But as many times as Sam reiterated to me that I was a part of their family, it stopped feeling like that the minute John came back. It wasn't because of anything he said or did specifically; it was because his presence caused a subtle shift in our group .

Sam and Dean's leader was back. The one they obeyed nearly their whole lives without question. Both of them instantly fell back into the old, familiar patterns of listening to John's every word and command. And I didn't blame them for it.

In fact, as misguided as John's paternal instincts were, I was glad that he was back. Mainly because I could tell how happy that made his eldest son. I noticed the almost worshipful way that Dean would watch his father when he wasn't looking; as well as his adamant desire to rebuild their dad's relationship with Sam. And despite their history, even the youngest Winchester seemed somewhat pleased to have their father back.