Today is officially the worst day of my life I got myself together and prepared to get dressed. I went into the bathroom took a shower washed my face and brush my teeth then went in my closet to look for something to wear. I ended up putting on this black dress a hat and my favorite church shoes. I can't believe it's been a week since I lost Pac and it's been a week of Hell. As I sat for awhile to gather my thoughts something told me to get myself together so I put my shades on grabbed my purse locked the door and left. It was sooo many people there, mostly fans. I saw a few celebrities there but one in particular was Jada Pinkett. She looked almost worst than me. I mean not in the looks area of course but mentally she was torn to pieces. I walked into the church and the pain from just being there began to unfold into something bigger. Battling the tears in my eyes trying hard to stay together was killing me. I finally saw Janet and she looked beautiful I sat right next to her in the back.
Toni
Hey
Janet
Hey Tone you okay?
Toni
I'm fine just tryna stay strong
Janet
Awww that's right you gotta stay strong for Pac. He loves you and I know he wants you to be happy.
Toni
*nods head
The funeral began
As the choir and tributes and whatever went by it was finally time to view the body. People went up there row by row and finally it was time for our row to go. Janet grabbed my hand and we walked up there trying hard not to make a scene. The closer we got to his casket the more the tears dropped from my eyelids. I saw my baby laying there and I lost it. I fainted in front of everyone because I was in so much disbelief that my baby is now gone. Why is this happening to me. I can't deal.
Janet
Toni wake up baby wake up
Janet and a few others carried me out the church and gave me some tissue and water. It just wasn't enough to make me feel better as I sat there I finally gave the courage needed to get back up and go back in the church. I sat in the back and made it through the whole service.
After the funeral, many people came to me asking was I okay and others looked at me crazy saying things like Why is she here? Did she even know him like that? She just acting looking like a fool fainting over someone she barely know. Yes it hurts to hear people say such things but I ignored them because hiding our relationship in the past has made it even harder now to reveal our secret love affair.
Janet
Toni?
Toni
Huh?
Janet
You okay?
Toni
Yea
Janet
Aww *leaning in for a hug
Toni
*sniffs
Janet
Let's go I'll make you dinner
_______________________________________
Toni
Janet What are you doing?
