Running Away Solves Everything

Elvis

I stayed up till twelve watching TV, so I’m not surprised when I wake up by half past seven. I guess I was supposed to cry from school to the house and walk all the way to bed, but no! I wasn’t going to be a slave to tears. I survived what most pupils didn’t, therefore, I would celebrate. Anyways, when my mum picked me up after school that was the entire opposite of what I was feeling though. The thing was actually that I thought Mrs. Ajayi reported me to my mum but she didn’t. She just takes law into her own hands and that’s it. Mummy asked why I was so quiet on the way back and I gave her no response. I’m sure Vivs wondered the same thing too.

I turn and turn on my bed till my head’s facing the ceiling. My eyes aren’t open yet though, but I can feel sunlight struggling to open them. Anyways, I feel it’s time to wake up but I don’t want to yet, but as soon as I scratch my eyes with the back of my eyes and my fingers for like two minutes till they’re open, I see Vivian sitting above me patiently with her head to my face. Suddenly, spit from her mouth falls in my eyes. It’s like she did it purposely.

“Eww… Vivs.” I wipe off the spit from my eye like it’s that disgusting brown thing I see at the same place every time I wake up and sit up. That thing that could glue my eye. “Get out!” I try pushing her from my bed, but she’s heavy and sloppy like a hippo covered in slime and sitting on a large rock.

“Be-be,” she calls to me as she turns and tries to touch my cheek, but as I slap her hand, she grabs the pillow underneath my head, thinking it’s time for play. I think it is too, so I dodge her first attack and get a pillow of mine from the floor and hit her on her back twice.

“Time for the knockout!” I’m standing on the bed now, and she’s about to stand too, but I jump on her back, so she’s now struggling to lift her weight and mine, but succeeds. She stands on her feet and immediately, throws me on the bed. “Aaah!”

“Yay,” she rejoices, lifting her fists high, squeezing tight and kissing her muscles so I pretend to be dead. Closing my eyes and stopping my usually loud breathing. If I could stop my heart from beating, I would too, but luckily for me, she doesn’t know that is a factor to determine someone is dead. “El-vi-s!” she screams, well not pronouncing my name as fast as I wrote it. Instead, it’s slow and although it is funny to hear, it has more meaning that way. “El-vi!” she shakes me and tries to tickle me from underneath my armpits and I struggle so hard to keep myself from laughing. If I do, she wins. If I at all shake, she wins. My lips turn to a total straight line and I don’t think they’re even there at all anymore. She is panting so loud and fast now, and I know my plan is working. She puts her lips on my ear and screams into it, “El-vi! N-wei-k!” All of a sudden, she puts her ear on my chest, and I know she got that from TV and although I’m glad she’s making some improvements to her brain I know she doesn’t know what she’s doing. Anyway, when she doesn’t get 'a heartbeat’ she hurries away.

Still quiet, I peep through my left eye and find that my door's open and Vivian is returning with a bowl of water. I want to wake up and just scare her, but I still pretend to be dead and I have all her attention until Mummy's door opens band she runs to the direction of the sound. “M-Mom! M-Mo!” Her legs move so fast and I don’t know what is louder; her voice or her feet on the floor.

Still in the mood to play more, I hear, “He doesn’t want to wake up? Pour it on him.” And like that, I’m up and behind the door, so that when she comes, I’ll scare her, and not taking her up to thirty seconds to get to my room, my plan works out but she pours half the bowl of water on my face. Mission accomplished; I’m wide awake, and I’m never sleeping back.

It’s not a new thing for Mummy to be fully dressed with a smile on Saturday morning by eight forty-five, ready for us to go to school which starts by nine while I am just waking up.