Running Away Solves Everything

Ekene

It’s already 9:00 and since we got to this hotel, we’ve just been passing insults around and gossiping about girls, like that’s what we were supposed to do. Well, it was like I wasn’t even there, because guys didn’t even call me out, and I had nothing to input on the issue of girls. There are two large beds in the room, and I’m the only that’s sitting on the chair. That’s probably where I would sleep.

I was fed up.

“So, is this why we left our houses this night?!” Eyes turn towards me.

It’s Paschal that looks up to me first, but his gaze isn’t frightening. It’s like he wants me to say more. “I swear!”

“Simi, it’s slacks if this is how you’re celebrating your seventeenth.” Enyinna is the one who puts the tension on Simi, and that’s when I know the firm-headed guy is going to burst like a pipe.

I’m waiting for Simi’s horrid come-back when he says, “Let’s brainstorm. What shit can we pull off?” Simi takes the most space on a bed by stretching his legs forward, while everyone does that yoga pose where you cross your legs like they were arms, and I’m sure he doesn’t do it, because he’s not flexible enough. Suddenly, he gets up on the bed. “Let’s paste Out of Order on every door in the hotel.”

Ebuka hisses, “That’s too much work.”

“I swear down. Is that a prank or a chore?” That’s Soji.

I’m utterly surprised, when Imeh adds, without looking Simi in the eyes, “Abeg, only people that have brains can brainstorm.” Holy crap!

The entire room rumbled in laughter. Well, because Imeh has always been this half albino guy who always did Simi’s bidding. Looks like today he was going to be a nationalist. Just look at him, fighting for his independence. I’m the only one who falls off the ground in laughter. Paschal ran to open the windows. Enyinna increased the fans to five, and Ebuka and Soji escorted Simi to the verandah of the hotel room, while Collins followed them with a hand fan. Imeh had given us four minutes of unexpected entertainment.

Simi succeeds out of Ebuka’s grip and attacks Imeh. He pushes him on the bed, and just says, “Ok. Bring brain. What do you have in mind?”

Enyinna tries to stop a quarrel for the first time in his life. “Simzy, calm the hell down. Why are you vexing?” He runs his hands down Simi’s boiling back. “Do you have a brain?” Oh my Lord! This guy doesn’t quit being stupid. He’s lucky all Simi does is to push him away too.

Then, Imeh speaks up. “We don’t have food, and we don’t have money. Let’s sneak into a room...” No one would concur to this, I thought.

“Damn! Imeh!” Collins interjects, but doesn’t change the topic. “Say no more.” He’s this devoted basketballer, so adding to his height, he’s got the most athletic physique.

“You have a better idea, LeBron?” Soji imposes. “Aren’t you hungry?”

It’s like all we were waiting for was for one of the kings to respond before we made it official. Paschal, Simi, Ebuka and Enyinna. Enyinna's mouth is fully open at what’s going on, so I doubt he’ll even speak. Simi wanted to, bit Paschal bit him to it.

“I am o. And by the way, you can’t call that stealing. It’s an artful acquisition of material to prevent you from dying.”

I can’t believe we were going to do something this stupid. This is going to be a disaster. I’m waiting for Ebuka’s biceps to disagree or Enyinna’s cheekbones to oppose, but neither does what I want them to. Instead, the biceps agree and the cheekbones support the motion. And that did it. We were going to rob a room. That was the dangerous something. I’m so overwhelmed with fear I don’t speak until everyone’s out the door, and I see myself closing it, and following these guys at their backs. I blame this hotel management staff for anything that’s about to happen. What were they think letting eight minors enter the building at the same time to pay for a room? That reminds me. Enyinna said P was coming.