PROJECT NIRVANA | ONC2020 ✔️

Chapter 19.

When I woke up the next morning, Avron was gone.

Of course I had expected this. We had agreed that it was best to start distancing from each other as soon as possible to speed the healing process, but I couldn't help feeling empty.

It was strange how I had spent most of my life without him, yet I felt as if I wasn't truly alive if he wasn't there. This strange phenomenon confused me, so I spent most of the morning lying in bed, wondering what I should do to occupy myself for the rest of the day.

Spending the day at my parent's house was out of the question. They would ask me about Avron and I wasn't sure whether I could talk about him without crying. I also didn't want Charlie to start asking questions about why Avron and I had left early.

I heard the doorbell ring, so I ran downstairs to answer it. I opened the door to find Kasey standing on the porch. She carried a heavy fruit basket as if it were a piece offering and handed it to me.

"I know that it's still early," said Kasey. "But it really bothers me how you guys left like that."

"It's fine," I said. "You can come inside."

"Where's Avron?" she asked as she stepped into the living room.

I quickly searched for an excuse. "He went to a music museum to check out some old violins and pianos."

"That's strange," said Kasey. "Aren't newlyweds joined at the hip or something?"

"That's just a misconception," I said. "Sometimes we grow sick of each other."

Kasey raised an eyebrow so I backtracked.

"It's just a joke," I said. "You know what I mean."

Kasey nodded. "I'm kind of guilty about what happened yesterday. I feel like I made things weird between the two of you."

"You didn't do anything wrong," I said, trying to comfort her. "We were just tired last night and wanted to go home early."

"Are you sure?" she asked. "I swear, I can smell some leftover tension in the air. "

I forced out a laugh. "There's no tension here. It's just you being hyper-imaginative."

Kasey went over to the kitchen and leaned against the marble counter. "I think we should bake. This house lacks the scent of freshly baked pastries."

"But you suck at cooking," I pointed out.

Images of black smoke, the screaming of the fire alarm, and burnt pieces of cake that had the texture of a rock came to mind. I shuddered. There were some experiences that I'd rather not go through more than once.

Kasey stuck her tongue out. "Cooking and baking are totally different. I'm fine as long as there isn't a stove involved."

"Then let's use a cake mix," I said. "I'm not confident enough to make it from scratch."

"That's for amateurs," said Kasey. "Where's the flour?"

"But we are amateurs," I retorted, but in the end Kasey got her way.

In the end we were left with two charred masses that held no resemblance to cake. I decided to call a company to order one instead, despite Kasey's attempts to convince me that we should try again. But despite this turn of events, I found myself growing happy again. Thinking about Avron didn't hurt as much as it used to, in fact, I missed him greatly.

It was nice to sit back and just be carefree even if it took burning a cake or two. I was glad that I had a friend like Kasey to rely on and that I wasn't alone. If I spent every day like today, time would move quickly and with that, healing would come.

Avron and I would be able to leave the past behind, letting go of the things we couldn't control. And we would learn how to celebrate the joy of the present instead of letting old feelings destroy us.