Be With Me - Reylo (TRoS alternate ending)

Chapter Nine

Rey was exhausted, confused and a strange unhappy-happy feeling coursed through her body (much like how the author of this felt writing this chapter after being on hiatus for an inexplicable amount of time). They had given Ben his own quarters, which was kind of them, given the general hostility from all those at the base. Rey couldn't blame them, given that he was the man responsible for many of their loved one deaths, but she did want to shake them and scream that it wasn't his fault, and that he'd been manipulated by evil his entire life. The only thing stopping the Resistance, who could no longer be called the Resistance, from attempting to kill him with their bare hands, was honouring Han and Leia's legacy.

Rey's quarters were cramped, and there was no way anyone was letting her have Ben in there. Even if Fin and Poe, who were now acting like overbearing father figures, had allowed it, Rey wasn't sure if the proximity would do anything for their dangerous, precarious relationship that neither of them had figured out yet.

She had pushed some food around on her plate earlier that evening while sitting in her cramped bunk, having decided that she couldn't face the stares she was going to get if she went to the mess hall. She presumed Ben would be eating alone as well.

Now she lay away in the faint blue light that lit the base during the night cycle, emanating from the crack under the door. She was exhausted, but unable to sleep. She had done all the right things. She had gone for a walk, eaten food, had a shower, she had drunk lots of water, and she was overworked, so she should be asleep! And yet there she was, counting in here head hoping it would make her pass out from sheer boredom.

That didn't work either. In the dead of night, when all except the not so busy monitors were asleep in their dorms, or lounging by heaters around the common areas that dotted the base, Rey flicked the switch by her bed, sitting up into the whitish light. Sitting on the bed across from her, with his eyes closed and hands on his crossed legs, was Ben.

Rubbing sleep from her eyes, Rey stifled a yelp. Ben jolted out of his medidative position at the sound, looking vaguely surprised and very awake.

"Are you why I can't sleep?" Rey said, her voice hoarse from lack of use.

"Probably. I've been trying to get through to you for about an hour and a half," he said. "Hi."

"Hi. You are aware that I am like two corridors away, and that if I shouted you could probably hear me from where you are?"

"I did not know that, but if I did, I still would have done this because its far more funned conspiratorial, wouldn't you agree?"

Rey scoffed. But in reality she was glad to see him; anything was better than lying awake uselessly all night. At least she had someone to talk to now. "You sound like a teenager."A confusing look passed over his face; betrayal mixed with regret, Rey thought. "Also you might not want to say the word 'conspiratorial' with in the hearing of anyone in this base but me."

"I never really got my teenage years, so I may as well have them now," he said, a small, thoughtful smile playing around his lips.

Rey decided then that she really wanted to kiss him.

If she asked him to come to her room, that would be making a commitment that she wasn't sure she was ready for.

If she said she wanted to go to bed, he'd disappear, knowing it for the lie it was, but respecting her decision.

If she kissed him now, it would be easy and deniable.

He smiled, as if he could hear her thoughts. Gods maybe he could!

"Now who's being the teenager?" He smirked.

Rey's body betrayed her by blushing. She hated blushing; it made her feel weak, and useless, like some young girl to be sold of into marriage. She loathed the idea, but at least she was safe from it, given that she didn't have a father.

"Alas, I can't read your thoughts, unless you actively open your mind to me, but you are an open book, Rey, and I don't need to hear your thoughts to know exactly what is crossing your mind."

Rey focused on steadying her heartbeat, which, like the traitor it was, and begun beating disturbingly sporadically. "And what would you suggest the answer to my dilemma is, if you know so clearly what is going through my head."

That damned smirk played around his mouth once more, and an almost predatory glint sparked in his eyes. Not the dangerous look he got when he was angry, or about to kill someone (Rey quickly banished the thought from her mind; that wasn't Ben, that was Kylo Ren), but an intense stare that made Rey feel ridiculous, like she didn't know where she should put her hands.

Maybe she should put them in his hair; it did look awfully soft and his face was clean and not covered in blood, which was a definite plus, like it had been every other time they had kissed.

"I would suggest you come here," he said quietly, his voice laced with a command she could easily refuse.

Rey felt like she had been hit with a brick. But a nice brick? Because without thinking she scooted out of the covers and he uncrossed his legs. Before she could properly settle nearer to him, Ben's hand snuck into her hair and pressed her lips to his.

That contact was all Rey needed to forget any dilemma that had been in her head and simply became part of a dyad. There was no Ben and Rey when they were like this, her hands in his hair and his arms pulling her as so close as he could, as if she would simply fade away, their mouths bumping against each other like moths against a light, drawn towards one another despite what it might mean.

He was just down the hall; she could break this connection and run to him, and properly be with him, but she was scared to. So she wouldn't. Not yet. Not when this was so easy. Not when Ben's hand was stroking her cheek, and his face was against hers, and when a little breathy noise came out of her and he smiles against her mouth, which she knew would be awfully tender in the morning. No. She couldn't stop this now. Who knew where they would end up, but Rey didn't care. All she cared about was this moment, the feeling of being alive, and the pride and joy she felt knowing that she had brought Ben Solo back to the light, and that they were safe together.

Rey's nose hit the wall. Ben had had disappeared, the force connection broken. And right when they were in the middle of snogging! Rey punched the blanket, the feeling of him still lingering on her mouth, her neck.

She hated this! But couldn't and wouldn't walk down that hall. Not with their future so uncertain.

Trembling with anger and something else entirely, she pulled the covers back over her and tried to sleep, but to no avail. Rey imagined what Ben was doing now. Probably pacing his room in frustration as she felt like doing. She closed her eyes and allowed sleep to come, the memory of Ben Solo ever present in her mind.

Hello...

Sorry?

Please vote and comment I need validation despite the fact that I've been gone for months without updating.

Hopefully I'll update more. Just kidding we all know that isn't going to happen. Anyway. We are nearly at 10k reads which is ridiculous and thank you so much. Hope you are all doing well in quarantine and aren't back at school prepping for exams.... Yeah that's right. That's what I've been doing.

Love you all,

Ophelia