Tomorrow's Blues

10. The Boat

"I won't lie to you, Ana, you look exhausted," Ellie said when we met. She examined me as we stood opposite each other on the quayside. "Also, have you been eating enough? Let's grab some food."

I just shook my head. "I'm fine. I'm not sleeping that great, but I can deal with that."

"You're not – oh." She clearly remembered why I wasn't. "I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to help? My mum's a bit of a hippie and she has these essential oils–"

"No, that's okay," I said, holding a hand up. "I don't think oils would do anything. Anyway, I just – I wanted to see you."

Ellie smiled. "I'm glad you texted me. I... I've been wanting to see you as well, I just didn't want to, you know, push you."

I felt a real surge of affection for Ellie. She was so intuitive. "Thank you. I know I've disappeared for the last couple of weeks."

"You don't need to explain anything, Ana," she said sincerely. "You take as much time as you need."

I let out a breath and before I knew it Ellie was pulling me in for a hug. It took me a second but I hugged her back.

"So, let's go get some coffee or something," she said when we separated. "Unburden all of your worries onto me. That's what I'm here for."

We began to walk along the quayside, and I thought to myself. "Well, okay. I want to get your opinion on something." I blew out a breath. "What do you think about me moving out and getting my own flat when I'm 18?"

Ellie pressed her lips together and tilted her head. "You want to get your own flat at 18?"

I nodded. I could practically see the cogwheels spinning in her mind. "I just - I love Alice and her family, but I don't want to be a burden. Its annoying having someone that's not your family being in your house constantly."

"Ana, I'm sure they think of you as family. And they definitely don't think of you as a burden." She twirled a strand of hair around her finger thoughtfully. "You sure you wouldn't stay there?"

"I just... I'd really like to get to place of my own." I leaned against the barrier enclosing the promenade and glanced out at the sea. "Having my own space, you know?" When Ellie didn't say anything, I glanced over to see her looking a bit unsure. "So what do you think?"

"It's just..." She paused, and I knew she was thinking about wording what she had to say very carefully. "It's just, are you sure you want to live on your own?"

"I think I'll be fine," I said sharply, and then regretted it immediately. "I mean... I'm sure I'll be fine. I appreciate the concern, though, I do." I put my hand on her shoulder to show her I was sincere, and she smiled, but it didn't look entirely genuine.

"Have you actually told Alice?" she asked cautiously.

I bit my lip, realising I hadn't. And I would probably need to start looking soon. "Nope. Maybe you can help me with that."

"Ooh, fun. Can't wait. If you do decide that's what you wanna do, I'll help you pick out a flat. But you should think about it first. Consider your options, you know?"

I sighed quietly. "Yeah. Sure." I didn't really need to think about it, I knew I wanted to move out. But I'd humour Ellie. "Anyway. You know I bumped into Sam the other day on the bus? Gave him 'the talk'?"

Ellie gave me a look. "You didn't."

"I did," I said slightly smugly. And so we strolled through the town, grabbed coffee, talking about anything and everything, and I was so distracted that I almost forgot I had work. When I realised, I said goodbye to Ellie and rushed home to change and head in to Melissa's. Alice was the only one awake and in the kitchen. She was busy cooking breakfast in her pyjamas, and she glanced over when I came in.