Tomorrow's Blues

23. A Bad Date

A couple of days later, when I had the morning off work, I headed into town to meet Harry with conflicted feelings. I knew I should stop seeing Harry. Although I did like him, I knew that I liked Joseph more. I could admit that to myself now that Joseph had been honest with me. But I also knew that the main reason I was probably still seeing Harry was that he distracted me. He kept me busy. And I liked being busy and distracted, because when I wasn't, I thought about my parents. At least in a few days school was starting, and I would have a routine. I could focus on something else. For the first time in my life, I wanted summer to end.

Harry had asked me to meet him by the quayside. He hadn't told me what he had planned, only that it would be fun. Everything he'd organised so far had been fun, so I trusted him.

Harry greeted me with a kiss. "Good morning. Are you ready for a fantastic date?"

"I mean, sure." I raised an eyebrow at him. "Care to tell me what we're doing yet?"

"You'll see in a bit." He put an arm round my shoulders and started leading me somewhere. "Did you know that you're very impatient?"

"Yes. Which is why surprises don't bode well with me. I tend to annoy people so much that they wish they'd never planned a surprise for me." I glanced up at Harry. "Are you feeling that yet?"
"Not yet. You're too cute to annoy me."

I wrinkled my nose. "I hate being called cute."

"But it's true." Harry squeezed my cheeks together with his free hand. I batted him away but I smiled. "You are very cute. Especially when you do the little wrinkled nose thing."

"I do that when I'm annoyed."

"Still cute."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Yeah, yeah."

As we walked, I realised we were heading in the direction of the harbour. My heart began to beat faster. Why was he taking me here? I hadn't been down among all the boats since the first time I met Harry. It was hard enough then – I hadn't been able to face coming back. But here we were. My mouth was drying out, making it hard for me to swallow.
"So, I thought we could go for a little boat ride." Harry stopped by a sleek speedboat. "This is my parent's boat. They said I could drive it. I've packed a little lunch and drinks..."

I began to back away. What was he thinking? Why would he think I would want to go on a boat?

"Ana?" Harry was frowning at me. "What's wrong?"

I slowly shook my head, feeling my eyes beginning to burn. I simply said in almost a whisper, "No." And then I turned and began to walk away.

"Ana!" I heard Harry jog after me. He took hold of my elbow to stop me, spinning me around to face him. "What–"

"How can you ask me what's wrong?" I said fiercely, tugging my arm out of his grip. "How can you say that?"

"Ana, I don't–"

"Why would you think I would want to go on a boat?" I snapped. "Harry, my parents drowned." I covered my mouth with my hand to calm myself down. It didn't work. "They drowned. On a boat that your family rented to them. Did you really think I would be able to step foot on a boat?"

Harry's face went from a confused frown to an expression of realisation and guilt. "Ana, I'm so sorry, I didn't – I didn't realise."

"You didn't realise?" I squeezed my eyes shut for a second. I was in real danger of crying, but I was trying my best not to. "Really? I can't even go in the water, did you know that?" I exhaled a shaky breath. "When I think about going on a boat, I can't breathe. Did you really not think, for one second, that taking me out on a boat was a bad idea?"