Tomorrow's Blues

20. A Formal Dinner

Later in the day, I was in my room, sitting at my desk with my feet propped up, chewing the end of my pen. I wanted to write songs, and I was feeling inspired, but all that was coming out was shit.

Just after I screwed up my eight piece of paper into a crumpled ball, there was a knock on the door. I twisted round to see Alice furtively peeping around the door at me.

"Hi," she said in a soft voice. "Can I come in?"

I nodded and put my pen down, staying sitting in my chair but spinning around to face her. Alice perched on the edge of my bed, fingers knotted together nervously. I waited for her to speak, and at last, she did.

"So, I talked to Dylan," she said, looking down at her hands.

I raised an eyebrow. That wasn't what I was expecting her first words to be.

"I apologised for lying to people about our breakup." She sighed and closed her eyes for a second. "Ana, I swear, I wasn't, like, actively lying to people, I just–" Alice broke off and sniffed slightly. "You were the first person I told, and you just looked so sad for me, and... I just couldn't tell you the truth, because I knew that you would hate me."

"Alice–"

"No, wait, I'm not finished yet." She took a deep breath and carried on. "I... I loved him, Ana. I did. And honestly..." She frowned slightly at her hands, swallowing. "I think I still do. And I know, it's been a while, but... that's why I got so upset at the party. I told him how I still felt." Alice shook her head to herself. "So stupid. He said he was... over me. He wasn't even nasty about it. I was just drunk and sad, and I thought that there was maybe still a chance for us, even though he'd gone back to being a player. But I realised that night that there was no chance for us. That was it." She finally looked up at me, her eyes glistening with tears that hadn't fallen. "I'm so sorry I lied to you, Ana. I shouldn't have. And there are no excuses for it."

I exhaled slowly and went to sit next to her on the bed. "It's just... I treated Dylan like shit. We used to be such good friends."

"I know, I know." She rested her chin in her hands. "I'm a terrible friend. And human being."

"Alice, you're not a terrible human being." I shook my head at her slightly. "You screwed up. Everyone screws up." I'd screwed up, that was for sure – I had feelings for her brother.

"Yeah, but most often not as bad as I did. I'm on the high end of the screwing up scale." She sighed. "I'm also a shit sister. Joseph is going to kill me."

"Because of Callum?"

"Yeah." Alice rubbed her face. "We're not as close as we used to be, but he's still protective."

"So you're going to tell him?" I asked.

"I think I should." She clapped her hands together. "Okay. This is going to be a new start for me. I'm going to be honest with everyone. I'll tell everyone the truth of what happened."

I nodded. I knew it was going to be seriously difficult for her, but she did have to. "Well, you can tell Ellie on Saturday. We're going over to her house for dinner."

Alice looked at me in confusion. "We as in...?"

"All of us. All the Moores. Apparently Ellie's mum is trying to be better."

She rolled her eyes. "Like we haven't heard that before. Wonder what Ellie thinks of all this."

I shrugged. I hadn't spoken to Ellie that much recently, and in the back of my mind I wondered if it was because she was spending so much time with Sam. "I can't imagine she's too happy about it."