Tomorrow's Blues

31. Joseph

I stayed staring at my closed door for a while, almost unable to believe that Joseph had just... gone back to his room. Like there was nothing between us. I really thought he was going to kiss me. But he didn't.

I slowly began to take off my jewellery, walking over to the mirror in the bathroom as I did so. I looked at my reflection. My makeup and curls had stayed surprisingly intact, but I could see the frustration on my face. I felt so let down. I sighed to myself and lightly ran a hand through my hair. I kept staring at myself in the mirror, and I watched as my expression of disappointment gradually disappeared. But then it was replaced by one of determination.

This was not how my night was ending.

Without thinking about it twice, I marched out of my room, and went to Joseph's door. My stomach was full of butterflies, my mouth dry, heart pounding. I ignored all of it. If there was ever a night to be bold, it was tonight. I lifted my hand to knock, but the door opened before I could.

Joseph stood there, his face surprised. He hadn't been expecting to see me. I swallowed as we looked at each other, neither of us saying anything. For the first time tonight, Joseph's expression became clear. It was longing. It was desire. And I was sure it was mirrored in my own.

He slowly moved closer to me, gently brushing my hair back from my face. I closed my eyes for a second, my lips parting. Joseph's hand touched the side of my face, his thumb running over my bottom lip. My breaths quickened. Every touch was so small, but it set my heart racing.

"Lily," he murmured, moving even closer. "What are you doing here?"

My breath caught. "What do you think I'm doing here?" I said softly.

Joseph's eyebrows furrowed slightly. "I was about to come back to your room."

"Why?" I asked as we drew ever closer together.

His eyes flickered up to meet mine. "You know why."

I swallowed. I couldn't think, couldn't breathe with him looking at me the way he was. We both knew what we wanted. It was just a question of letting go of all excuses and reasons not to. We would both have to let our walls down, allowing us to see each other as we truly were. And that seemed terrifying.

"God, Lily, do you know what you're doing to me?" Joseph breathed, his eyes blazing with desire.

I didn't answer but kept my eyes on his as I lifted a hand and lightly touched his lips with my fingers. His eyes were stormy and intense, the way I'd seen them before whenever I touched him. The way they were the night when I danced around him in my underwear. The way they were whenever we lay in bed together. All of those almost-kisses and teasing touches had led us here.

"Fuck, when you asked me earlier if was going to kiss you..." Joseph dipped his head down, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear, his finger tracing a path down my neck. My breath hitched. "That was all I could think about for the whole night."

I let out a shaky breath. "But you didn't do anything about it."

His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes darted to my lips. "I didn't." Joseph dropped his head down even further, his forehead resting against mine, our lips inches apart. His palm touched my cheek. My heart was thumping loudly in my chest. I could barely breathe. I was feeling such a tangle of emotions, but I knew that I wanted Joseph.

"So do something about it," I whispered. I felt the heat of his body almost against mine. All I could smell was him. He was so unbearably, tantalisingly close to me, and it was driving me crazy. Joseph's hand stilled on my cheek as I tilted my head up slightly, our lips a millimetre apart. Just one small movement... "Joseph. Do something about it."