UNEDITED
Gemma Alder is used to being the unlucky one in the Alder family: from a nasty rumour about her back in high school to inexplicable mishaps, she seems to be the comical target for unfortunate situations. But if there's one thing she's good...
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Gemma
As I'm zipping up the back of my black dress, I can't help but wonder what Jake is doing right now. It's Friday night. He and Hanna could be watching a movie. Or maybe Hanna is spending some time with her friend, and Jake is hanging out with Cassian. Maybe he's still at work. Or maybe he's still thinking about all the ways in which I betrayed him.
I tear my gaze away from the mirror, my own reflection making me sick to my stomach. Yes, the situation I was in back in high school was much worse than the one he's currently in. And yes, he deserved what I did to him. But it doesn't mean what I did was the right decision to make. I shouldn't have tried to hurt him as he'd hurt me. And I'm ashamed of myself for knowing better but allowing myself to be blinded by my own anger. I'm pissed off at myself for not telling him sooner, for even thinking that this wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass.
I take a deep breath, hoping to calm the swell of emotions as they slam into me. I don't want to cry, not when I'm moments from stepping out the door and driving to the restaurant to meet up with Parker and Morgane for our usual night out. It's the last thing I want to do, especially when I can't seem to get my mind off of Jake. As far as my friends know, I'm still living high on life because I was able to get my revenge on Jake and embarrass him; I never got around to breaking the news to them that Jake and I are – were dating.
The very thought makes me feel like I've come down with the flu. But there's nothing I can do about it. I sling my purse over my shoulder and head downstairs, shutting off the lights. I've tried to talk to Jake countless times – I even contacted Cassian and tried to talk him into accidentally causing us to meet up so we would have to talk about what's happened. But, even after all the effort I've put in to trying to make things right, I know this is up to Jake. Whatever happens next needs to happen under his terms and conditions.
The drive to the restaurant isn't long, and I arrive sooner than the other two. As soon as a waitress comes to the table and asks me if I want a drink, I order water, as well as some appetizers. Ever since the night Jake and I got drunk, I haven't had any interest in alcohol. Whether or not it's from the killer hangover I had the next morning or the simple association Jake has with alcohol experiences remains to be seen.
As I'm sitting here, waiting, my phone goes off. Setting down my water, I pull out my phone and unlock it, going directly to my messages. My stomach muscles clench when I see that the message is from Hanna. She's asking me if I want to come over and watch a horror movie marathon with them, popcorn from the local movie theatre and all. For a brief moment, I imagine what it would be like to hang out with the two of them again. Things would be easy and comfortable, as if I'm hanging out with my own family. I miss them – a lot. So much so that it's a problem. It's a problem because it means I've fallen in love with both of them. Jake is the best friend and lover I lost. Hanna's the little sister I never had.
I stare at my phone, wondering how much higher I can pile the lies. Work can only be an excuse for so long before Hanna starts to notice the pattern, starts to question why Jake and I aren't going on dates or hanging out or texting each other. I feel terrible for doing this to her, but there's nothing else I can do. If Jake doesn't want Hanna to know what's happened, then I don't have a right to tell her.
