The Devil's Game

The Victory

Trigger warning: Sensitive content including, depression, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts and actions.

Pan's heart was more black, dead, and grotesque than a shriveled up spider's corpse. The weight of his power fell like a huge tree. My resolve had finally broken for the life of that boy. It was the path that Pan had been searching for, a means of controlling his new pawn and I had played into his hand. Ice formed in my eyes and I fixed him with a deadly stare. Pan only returned it with a smile. I wanted to vomit at the sight of it, my gut twisting in utter disgust. "Oh my little tiger, it seems I've finally caught you." His voice was low and soft, but it cut through my soul with the razor edge of a shout. "All that fight and I can still see those embers burning in your eyes." He approached me and despite every fiber of my being screaming at me to turn back, I stood strong. Pan took my chin in his hand, caressing my cheek lightly with a calloused thumb. "So beautiful," he mumbled taking in every detail of my eyes, but I refused to look away, I may be powerless, but I am not weak.

Pan waited as if he expected me to continue to fight him. A long moment of us staring intently at each other passed. Something about physical contact with Pan made my skin crawl with a thousand centipedes, their many legs puncturing my skin and drawing forth the ruby liquid of my veins.

The despair of the truest form found its way into my heart at that moment. I had lost, though it had been a short battle I was sure that I could win. But as it is said, "Peter Pan never fails.""Now then love, are you ready to serve your king?" Pan's voice was thick with an emotion I couldn't place, but it held a dark note. Like an instrument striking a minor chord, it thrummed through my being, the ultimate submission.

We stood gazes locked as his hand drifted from my face. Swallowing what was left of my pride as a lead weight to sit firmly in the pit of my stomach, I let my head fall. Eyes upon the ground I could feel his triumph sinking into my bones. The unblinking light made the scene all the more clear. His figure cast no shadow upon the Earth, even as the light glared down. Pan was no man, he was nothing but a soulless demon, ripping the souls of the innocent apart with his bare hands. I noticed for the first time that his feet were bare as he strode toward me, leaning close I could feel the warmth of his body, and for some reason that surprised me. His heart was cold as ice, it only seems fitting that his body would be as well. He whispered into my ear one soft fateful word. "Kneel."

The weight of the world upon my shoulders was becoming unbearable and with a trembling heart, I collapsed to my knees before the man. Thunder cracked straight above our heads, I would wonder at the coincidence if Pan wasn't in direct control of the weather. He had quite the flair for the dramatic.

The thunder sounded again and I whispered a soft apology into the din, "I'm sorry Killian." Grabbing my arm Pan drug me to my feet. I hung limp in his grasp.

My mind drifted to a scene that I had spent so long clinging to and equally as long trying to forget.

The flames were red and the smoke pitch black as it burnt. My heart dropped into the Earth as I gazed into the cruel light before me. Screams aroused me from the trance. My town, my home, as engulfed in ravaging flames. My parents were in there. Without a second thought to my safety, I began sprinting into the fire. The heavy pack and horse from my journey long forgotten in my frantic stride.

I was barely a few feet from the scene when I was seized by a pair of strong arms. Desperate I screamed and kicked begging them to let me go. When that failed I resorted to biting and clawing hoping that drawing blood would be enough for him to relinquish me, but I was met with failure. A voice was yelling, whether it was my own or that of my captor I was unsure, my brain muddled by the fear that had overtaken my being and was in control of my limbs. I was finally met with a strong blow to my head knocking me out.

My savior that night was none other than Killian. I utterly despised the man for months, he should have let me die with my parents, I was nothing without them. Killian brought me back to his ship. In the depths of grief when I awoke I broke down, screaming and crying. Finding a small shard of broken glass from a cup I had smashed I brought it to my wrist with the intent to end it all.

After that incident, they were forced to keep me chained to avoid me causing myself bodily harm.

It has been years since then, I eventually properly grieved my parents and forced myself to move on. Soon I fit in well on the ship, finding my place quickly amongst the men. Killian taught me to fight, to think, to strategize, and to win. If he could see me now he would be so disappointed, I had lost to the demon.

My mother, my father, Killian. All meaning had been drawn from life itself. I could feel the edges of my soul beginning to crack, fissures became wider and wider until it shattered. Just like the day I had lost my parents.

I had once asked Killian why he was so determined to keep me alive, and he had simply said, "Because, Tiger Lilly," He used the nickname I was so fond of, "I know the pain of loss," He said nothing more, but I understood his meaning. If I could find a reason to live so could he.

All the hatred and sadness that had ruled my mind sunk into the ground to leave a shell. I was nothing. I had lost everything.

Now he was gone, and with him so was I.

-_-

Hello dear readers. This may look like the final chapter, but I assure you it isn't. There is still much to learn about our lovely Lily and her past, as well as her future what ever that maybe. I hope you're enjoying my story despite my complete lack of an ability to update.

Have a lovely day,

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