In my Blood

CHAPTER 58 - The End of a Journey

The Berg door eventually closes, and Thomas passes out. 

We look at each other solemnly, exchanging shocked, guilty and grieved looks. I bring my hand up to my mouth, trying to process what just happened, but can't seem to admit the obvious conclusion. I bite my nails anxiously, distractedly. My eyes begin to close heavily as the weight of what just happened begins to sink in, and exhaustion hits my body. 

I feel someone put a hand on my shoulder, and turn around to face Vince. "You should sleep, kid," he mumbles. He doesn't look me in the eye. "I'll wake you up when we get there."

I nod slowly, my mouth hanging open. Looking up, I see Minho staring at me, his dark, hooded eyes portraying an emotion similar to sympathy. He attempts a smile, muttering, "C'mon, slinthead. Sleep. You're not looking your best." 

I try to smile, my lips shaking. He puts a heavy arm around me and leads me to Newt's little room, where he is still passed out on the bed. I sit down on the floor, my back against the wall, and Minho slumps next to me. 

"I'm sorry that happened, (y/n)," he mutters stiffly. 

"How can you even be sympathetic right now?" I ask in a confused whisper. I hear Minho chuckle ever so slightly.

"I'm trying, (y/n)."

I look to him. "But what she did to you..."

He nods. "Yeah. Shuck, she tortured me, for months. I didn't think I'd ever want to forgive her, but... I dunno. I'd rather have her here for Thomas' sake, y'know? And I know you kinda had something with her too, so." 

I shake my head. "I don't even know what that was. I don't even know if it's real."

He looks to me. "Do you still get the memories?"

I shrug, pondering the question. "Not as much. Not like I used to. They're small memories, like the feeling of déjà vu or something, but nothing important. And I haven't had a... Teresa memory in ages..." I feel my eyes stinging with the suggestion of tears, but force myself to keep them in. "Maybe I'll remember, one day. For now I'd just rather not. I don't care about what happened before the Maze..." I bite my lip. "That didn't help me survive." 

Silence settles between us. Not uncomfortable silence, just silence. The kind of silence where you just sit and think. I feel my eyes grow heavy, resting my head on Minho's shoulder, his head leaning in to rest on top of mine. And then, we sleep. 

***

I awake to feel a tap on my shoulder, rubbing my eyes to look up at Frypan as I yawn. Looking around the room, I am relieved when I see Newt in his bed, still asleep. Minho lies beside me, all curled up in the fetal position. I gently shake him awake, and he opens his eyes. 

"We're almost here, guys," Fry smiles. 

"Where's 'here'?" Minho asks. 

"The boat. We're leaving for the Safe Haven in a couple hours."

"Right,"  I nod. "I'm just gonna give Newt some more Serum and replace my bandage, then I need to speak to Gally. Feel like there's a fair few things I need to say to him." Fry turns to leave. "Wait, Frypan... how's Thomas?"

"Still asleep," he answers. "Probably won't wake up till we get to the Safe Haven. He's looking good, actually. His wounds are cleaning up quicker than they usually do."

Frypan leaves, cracking his fingers slightly. I furrow my brows. I didn't know he did that. Maybe it's a stress thing. Minho yawns widely, stretching out his arms above his head and getting up. He offers me his hand, and I take it. I bite my lip, looking to Newt.