The Girl He Didn't Want

Chapter 25

Another chapter is up with James POV. I thought it would be good to get into his thoughts a little bit more to really understand the situation from his side. 

Enjoy guys! :) 

James POV

When I got out of the car, I managed to take my phone up from my pocket. I made it seem like I had an important message to reply to. She waited a few seconds for me to read it through.

As I had my phone in my hand and made it look like I was busy with my phone I suddenly got a real call. My heart skipped a beat as I didn't see that coming. It was a call from my colleague. Before I answered the call I turned towards Maya's face and gave her an apologetically grimace to signal that I was sorry about taking this call. Meanwhile deep inside I was relieved to somehow get an excuse to say my goodbyes to her quicker and easier.

"Excuse me for a minute, Maya, I have to take this call". She nodded and waited for me to finish. I walked a little further away from her to talk in private with Brian. When he finished talking about this new case that we had gotten at our company I was immediately hooked. I wanted to take the case. I thanked Brian for calling me and hung up. When I turned around I met Maya's curious face looking at me. She somehow looked like she tried to lean into me. Did she want to get closer?

I took a small step back to get some space. Everything went so fast suddenly and I couldn't gather my head around my emotions toward this woman, who was indeed beautiful, kind, and special. But it made me scared. Nobody made me feel this way. Nobody had ever made me feel this vulnerable.

When she walked a little closer again I had to say something.

"M-Maya, you know what? I just got a really huge case on my shoulders. That was Brian who called, my colleague and he needs my help on this one. I'm sorry, but I think I have to get back and work". 

Her little shy smile turned into a thin line now but then slowly turned upwards again.

"Sure, no problem. I hope you win this case!" she exclaimed with a joyful voice. She sounded so positive. I hoped dearly that I would win this case. Not just for me but for the client who needed justice. I gave her a quick hug and went back into my house without looking back.

When I got inside, I walked over to the kitchen window to see if she was gone. She didn't quite leave immediately. She stood on the grass a few meters from her car and looked like she hesitated whether she should go or stay. Eventually she sat in her car and drove off. I sighed out of pure relief to be able to think more clearly.

This was a great time to indulge in work and take some distance from Maya to make sure how I felt about her.

***
The next week 


Monday morning I was occupied by my work. I had my black coffee with me and some sandwiches to be eaten at lunch. While looking through the files of the ongoing case I had the responsibility for, I was distracted by the thought of Maya. I could feel that I missed being with her. Soon she overtook my whole brain and all I could think of, was her sweet smell, her perfectly white teeth, and her presence. I tried to snap out of it and refocus on the important stuff in front of me. It was hard.

This never happened to me. I was starting to get frustrated as I couldn't do my job properly. I managed to concentrate on the work for a few hours again before I fell into a deep pool of thoughts about her again. I ran my hands through my hair out of annoyance. This was torture!

After lunch, I got a message on my phone. When I saw that it was from Maya I read it fast and then just stared at my phone. She asked if I wanted to meet up soon again.

I couldn't. I just couldn't do that yet.

Besides, I was drowned in work now. This case was bigger than I thought. And she was clearly a distraction for me at the moment. I took my phone and was about to reply back to her. I couldn't see her in the next few weeks. It was a good excuse too as I really was busy with work.

"Sorry, I can't meet up for a few days. I'm caught up on this big case lately and it's gonna take some work to get through it" I pressed the send button and threw my phone back on the desk.

I waited for her reply. But I got distracted by my colleague so I didn't get a chance to check my phone again until I was about to head back home.

I read her message repeatedly. "Sure, no problem. I hope you are well. Let's just meet up when you got time again. -Maya".

I tried to convince myself that this was the right thing to do. It wasn't fair to her or me if we kept seeing each other when I was so confused about how I felt toward her. I didn't want to hurt her unnecessarily. That, I wouldn't be able to bear.

The next few days I didn't call her, didn't text her and I didn't visit her at all. I was working mostly all day and my only companion after work would be Nico.

I was tired lately, like a lot. I felt like I needed more sleep. But I couldn't. I felt like something was missing in my life and I didn't want to admit what it was that I needed.