The Girl He Didn't Want

Chapter 46

Mayas POV

I was on my way back to Brooklyn to see my parents. I didn't go to work today as it was my day off. And I also decided not to go to the studio either. Today was a day without work so I could focus on myself and just be free. When I got the call from mom earlier this day, they didn't tell me what the urgency was about, but they sounded eager. I quickly texted James about my whereabouts as we had talked about meeting each other later this evening. I wanted to give him a heads-up just in case. Just when I was near the house, I got a text again from James that he wanted to accompany me. I didn't want to bother him as he was still at work and I needed to be with him alone tonight. I had missed him terribly much and I hadn't told him about us to my family yet.

The timing was never right. And to be truthful – I feared telling my parents about James. Not that I was ashamed of him. I was rather more afraid of letting them down. I knew that I was the eldest sibling. I had so many burdens on my shoulders. I had the responsibility to carry out our family's honor and dignity. I so wanted to be the best daughter in the whole world. I wanted to please my parents. But I knew I had already disappointed them with my work career, my choice of friend, my studies, and my passions.

I was so different from all the other Tamil girls. Sure, I knew how to cook traditional food, I knew the language – I was fluent in speaking my native language. But that was because I was grown up in that world. What my family often forgot, was, that when the came to America as refugees, they gave us children two worlds to jungle between. It wasn't no longer just all Sri Lankan thinking as they had been used to. No! I was also part American. And it was like they forgot they were the reason to make me feel this conflicted with myself. This was not something I shared with James often. I would love to someday but letting him inside my other cultural side was hard for me. Heck, it was even hard for me to deal with!

When I arrived at their house I quickly ran over to the door. I knocked on the door but didn't wait long before I just opened the door.

'Maya! You are here!' Sascha and Vinni came running towards me. They hugged me so I was about to get crushed.

'Yes, yes. I'm here. Why what's up? Mom suddenly called me up and told me to come home... Is everything okay? God, don't tell me dad had an accident or anything like that!'

Sascha cut in: 'Relax sis. This is all a good thing... Actually, mom and dad have invite...'

'Maya? Ah, you came darling. Come please hurry up. Follow me dear' My mom had taken my hand and pulled into my old bedroom. There on the bed, I saw three different traditional dresses, called sarees, lying. They were all three very beautiful and had so many colors on them. I stared at them not knowing what was going on exactly.

'Mom, what is all this for?'

She gave me a big smile and cupped my face. 'Maya, we have finally found a suitable husband for you! His name is Suresh. He is twenty-nine years old. He got a new job as an engineer. His family is from the same caste as us. Everything is perfect chellam!'

I was gawking at her in horror. Did she just get me here to get me engaged with someone random guy?

SHIT!

Then it hit me hard. I had totally forgotten that day when I told my mom on the phone that they could begin to look for a husband for me. But at that time, I had misunderstood James! Now I was with him. How could this happen?

Oh, dear Heavens. Do something! Help me!

'Maya. Stop staring like that. That's not a proper way to have a face. And please don't have your eyes so wildly open – especially not when Suresh comes to see you. You have to show the best side of you to really capture him and the family. They are from a very respected family, you know. And if this goes well, we can begin to look for Sasha or Vinni'

She was raking through the cabinet to find all kinds of different jewelry. I was completely numb at this moment. Suddenly the bell rang again.

'It's them. Hurry up! Get ready and then come outside again. I think the red saree would look nice, but you can choose dear'.

My mom went outside of the bedroom to go greet the guest. I had no freaking chance to escape or have a talk with them without making it obvious for the new family. If they heard about it my parents' honor would be ruined. Everybody in the Tamil community would talk about how my family was for not meeting their expectations. I suddenly wanted to cry. This was so not how I wanted to let it happen.

Think Maya. What is the best thing to do at this moment?

I gulped hard and didn't know the answer. But I knew what the best thing was right now. I had to do at least something than just standing there like a statue.
I picked the Turkish blue saree and started to dress up. It was the simplest one of them all three. I was not into all the pearls, diamonds, and flashy things. Besides, this one would not flatter me at all. So, I went with this one. I found some jewelry that went well with the saree and got ready quickly.

For heaven's sake! Why are you even thinking about matching your jewelry with your saree? You don't even want to marry this guy!

I heaved a sigh. I had to get over with this little meeting. I would politely go in and give my greetings. When they asked me what I thought about the potential groom I just had to tell my parents that I didn't like him. Just like I did with the four others through these couple of years. It eventually got too much for me when I was together with Oliver. So they stopped since then. And now they were on this whole find-the-groom-project because I was so stupid to say so! The best thing about modern arranged marriages was, that they weren't forced like they were back in the days when my parents were young though. I guess things had changed for the better in some areas. I was thankful for that. I had heard from some of my childhood friends, that they grew up and were forced by their parents. Some parents hadn't moved on since the old times – I was just grateful that my parents at least didn't force us into it.

But here I was, feeling obligated to go through this for the sake of my parents and for my sisters. I wished I had told about James before, but I was just so unsure at the beginning. But I was sure that James and I had a future now. He even lived in celibacy for me! Not having sex with me or anyone else this long must have been because he really loved me. I just had to take things at a slow pace. I was still young. And if I had to get married my way – the man was supposed to propose to me. The arranged marriage thing was not that romantic for me.

I heard some voices in the living room and figured it was my cue to step inside. I walked awkwardly in my saree as I wasn't used to wearing it that often. Sascha on the other hand lived for these traditional clothes. She would go to every festive function with mom and dad. She listened to Tamil music a lot and she was overall very rooted in our culture. I wished I could be like that – it would make things so much easier!

'Vannakam' I held my two hands together, so it looked like I was praying. That was the way to greet people. I saw three faces right in front of me. The man called Suresh was decent to look at. He seemed like a good guy to me. But he was so not my type though. He had a red shirt on that and had it stuck down his black trousers. He was only a few centimeters taller than me. I couldn't help but compare him with James. James would have seemed like an awful tall tree if he stood side by side with this guy. I noticed he smiled kindly at me. I gave him a polite and yet a hesitant smile. 

Suddenly I saw Vinni run toward the front door. Somebody was at the door now. I couldn't see or hear who it was, but I assumed it must have been more relatives from the man's side. I mean, his parents were here. His grandparents were also here. And to top it off they also brought his cousins with them. They were so many people in our little living room. You could say it was a little crowded in the end.

When Vinni came back she wasn't alone. I was expecting some small brown people following her when in fact I almost choked in my own saliva inside my mouth. James stood there at the doorframe. He looked confused.