The Girl He Didn't Want

Important to read!

Authors note – personal story

As you can read in the story, Maya is very hard on herself. She is feeling so many negative thoughts about herself after feeling rejected all the time. For some of you, it may feel like it's too much or that she is overreacting, I don't know.

But Maya's feelings and emotions are taken from my own life and I put those feelings into her character. I know how it feels to be rejected because of a person's skin color. I know the pain and the indescribable feeling of unworthiness to the world.

The way Maya tried to scratch her skin color off in one of the earlier chapters because she was hurt, is based on what I once did to myself when I got bullied in school when I was little. I thought I actually could somehow get my color off of me. (Luckily it didn't work, I'm so happy about my skin color today!)

Anyway, at some point in my life, I wanted to give up in love and in finding my own partner. I simply lost hope. I figured that, if I had so many rejections because of my culture and background then there was only one way and that was to let my parents find someone for me, as I myself is a Tamil girl born and raised in Denmark.

I am happily married to a man who is Danish and therefore, white and I never had to let my parents find a brown man for me at the end. I found Mattias when I lost all hope and wanted to settle for less. But now I am freaking married to Mattias and I'm so happy! We have been married for almost two years and yes, some people in my culture don't think I'm living my life correctly. Some people from my culture have been talking about me behind my back, some have been telling rumors about me, but my parents love Mattias. They like how open he is towards my world and he accepts me for who I am. He loves the Danish me and the Tamil me. And that's what matters the most.

I still experience an identity crisis sometimes because I have to balance between both of my 'worlds' somehow. I have always been a different one in my family. I always followed my own dreams and it often didn't fit into my family's wishes. But I am more than happy to tell you that love is greater than color or any other culture for that matter.

You are beautiful. You are special.

If you are white – great.

If you are black – great

If you are brown – great

Asian, European, African, you name it - you are perfect no matter what!

If you are somehow different than everyone else around you – just know that that's okay and you are not less worthy because of that!

Big hugs!
I hope this could maybe encourage some of my readers out there.

#BlackLivesMatter