DEAF HINATA AU - The Sound of Silence

• mess up •

Kageyama POV
Hinata wasn't playing his best today.

I don't know if he was still thinking about what his mum said or if he was just having an off day.

Either way he seemed pretty pissed about it.

His receives have never been particularly good but today they were just awful.
He missed at least double the amount of spikes he normally did.

We took a drink break, and I caught him aggressively bouncing his leg up and down and looking into space.

"You okay?" I ask and tap him on the shoulder. He snaps out of his thoughts and jumps up suddenly.

He made a small, "Hmm?" noise.

"I said are you okay" I say a little louder, even though it wouldn't make a difference either way.

He nods his head and looks down.

A Hinata not smiling isn't a Hinata you see everyday.

I grit my teeth and walk away, not wanting to look at his sad face anymore.

We were playing a practice game when Hinata changed from sad to angry.

He wasn't mad at us, he was mad at himself.

Every time he missed a spike or a receive he'd silently hit himself hard on the head or slap his cheeks that they'd turn red.

He apologised after every move he'd make.

By the end of the second set, I over heard Tanaka and Noya talking to him.

"You feeling ok, dude?" Tanaka said to him after getting his attention.

Hinata sighed and nodded slowly mouthing, 'Sorry'

"You know if you need a break you can just tell us" Noya adds slowly.

I walk up to them.

"They're right" I say suddenly. "You're no use to us if you're tired"

Hinata takes a notepad out of his bag and writes on it. He hands the note to me smiling sadly.

I guess I really do mess everything up huh?

As soon as I read it I felt my stomach drop.

Noya and Tanaka throw their arms around his shoulders and they all laugh jokingly.

But I knew that Hinata wasn't joking.
He was dead serious.

I felt a lump in my throat.

As soon as they left I grabbed his arm and looked at him firmly.

'What?' he mouthed.

He wasn't smiling like he was with Noya and Tanaka. His mask of happiness faded as soon as they were out of his sight.

"You don't mess everything up" I whisper to him. It's better than mouthing it but I just didn't want anyone to hear.

He pulls my arm off of his before scoffing and walking away.

I'm not sure if he understood me, or if he even wanted to listen.

He turns around.

'Sure' he mouths sarcastically. 'Whatever you say'

Damn it.

I drag him by the arm and out of the gym. We get confused looks but I just tell them we'll be back

'What?' he mouths aggressively as soon as we've come to a stop at the back of the gym.
I look at him angrily but blankly.
I know I want to make a point but I don't know how to prove it.

I wanted to tell him so much.

That he's not useless.
That he's not helpless.
That he doesn't mess anything up.
That he makes everything better.

But I couldn't.
I couldn't find the words.

And although I couldn't say it to him, I had an idea.

I take the bit of the paper he gave to me and scribbled what I said on it and gave it to him aggressively.

You don't mess anything up

There's a lot more that I wanted to write on it, but the paper was only small.

When he reads it, his face drops, not in a sad way, but in more of a relieved manner.

He smiles small but genuinely at me and takes his phone out, slipping the note behind his phone case.

There's two others there, one of them was facing up and I could read, 'toss one day' and the other was facing down.

Quietly and shakily he opens his mouth, and when I think he's going to mouth something, small sounds come out.

"T...tha-nk Y..you"

He gives me a big smile and I'm shocked.

He said something.
To me.
He wasn't forced to.
He told me thank you.

I blush and smile down at him.
He's still smiling up at me.

"Sure" I say as calmly as I can, looking away and blushing, but in reality I'm trying so hard not to hug him.

After our discussion he did better.
Not great, but better.

As we were walking home he goes to write something down for me, but I tell him that I want him to try signing to me.

He smiled and signs.

From what I can understand he says,

Your pretty cool, you know?

I stop and looks at him blushing, surprised.

He smiles at me.

Whats that supposed to mean?

I try to sign quickly, but it turns out sloppy and I'm pretty sure he didn't understand most of it.

He grabs my arm, and smiles the whole way home.

Sorry this chapter was smaller than usual. I legit woke up to so much support on this book and I can't find away to thank all of you enough. I seriously almost cried. I am going to try and upload more chapters soon so please bare with me.
Love you all!
Stay Safe!
- Tashia 🥺🥺